Page 98 of The Toymaker
“Without the kink, do you like it? You’ve only got drawers on now.”
“On my own, I’ll often wear just drawers in the evening. I don’t mind clothes, but when I'm relaxing by myself, I kinda don’t want to bother. I don't like tight clothes.” Kit paused, trying to think of how to word it. “If I wear anything tight, it takes up too much attention. It’s not comfortable, and I can’t think about anything else. It’s not the same as being tied up either.”
“I like wearing clothes,” said Riju. “They make me feel safe, and I especially like red. In the warehouse, they tore off my clothes and made fun of me for being so skinny. They didn't have many pounds to spare either, but it was something to make me feel bad. I think I wanted to leave my shirt on even with Trig because I felt too vulnerable, and maybe something in my head said not to trust him with everything. I never showed him my full body. I was born with tattoos, and he has no idea what they look like…unless he took a peek while I was sleeping.”
Truly, it sounded like a thing Trig would do instead of respecting Riju's wishes, and Kit scowled. “I’d say it makes sense. Someone removed your clothes, and rape isn’t the only bad thing a person can experience. I think people get bad feelings at times too because they know something isn’t quite right. You got the feeling from Trig even if you didn’t know why, so you kept a couple of things back and since you like clothes, keeping at least a shirt on was a way to make you feel comfortable. Is that why you wouldn’t bottom for him even just to try it?”
“I guess. I like having control during intercourse. Trig asked in the beginning, and…” Riju shook his head. “When I imagined him having control of me in that way and being inside of my body, it made me uneasy. I couldn’t do it. Not even to try it out. He said it was fine if I always topped him because he prefers being fucked, and a man who bottoms can still be the dominant one. He still insisted he wasn’t my first, and it didn’t help when I woke from nightmares about that night and had a panic attack a few times. It pissed me off he thought I was having nightmares about rape and wouldn’t just accept what I said as truth.”
“I believe you, and you can always talk to me if you want. I don’t mind if you feel better in clothes because I’d never tell you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. But I do think you should do something.”
“What?” asked Riju.
“Maybe you should take a break from work.” Kit straightened his legs. “Stop making toys.”
“I have the time to make stuff. I should be working to prove I can do this later and have a stockpile.”
“To prove to you or Trig?”
“He’s not around. I have to be good enough to succeed.”
“If you think you’re not good enough, I bet it’s because of things he said. You’ve been through a lot lately, and you just unloaded stuff. I’m glad you feel like you can trust me, and you can tell me anything, Riju.Anything. But perhaps you should take something else off of yourself and take a break. I mean for days, not an hour or whatever.”
“I have to work.”
“We’re not about to starve or be on the street, and you could go back to it in a few weeks. If you take a real break, maybe it’ll help you to destress because you’re not forcing your brain to keep going and going. I think minds need rest like a body. Don’t worry about what Trig thinks or even what I think. If you really want to keep working every night, do it. It might be better if you don’t because you didn’t have any kind of break at all. We’re still running the shop too.”
Riju stared ahead. “All right. I’ll give it a few days.”
“Do you want to do something fun to destress?”
“Like what?”
“Get a blanket.”
“For what?”
“It’ll be a surprise. Sort of.”
“I don’t like surprises when I know one is coming.” Riju pushed up his spectacles as he gazed at Kit. “I know you wouldn’t purposely do anything bad, but surprises can be bad. People think you’re supposed to be happy and excited to knowsomething is coming. You’re not supposed to know what’s coming, just that it is, and I don’t like it. It makes me uneasy.”
“Oh.” Kit scratched his head. “So if I bought you a present, and I’m not giving it to you right away, I should say nothing and simply give you the gift when it’s time?”
Riju’s face brightened. “Yes! You get it! I’ll know what it is right there. Trig didn’t get it.”
“The surprise was that I’d tie you up the way you like. We won’t do anything sexual. You can relax, and I’ll lie on top of you.”
“That sounds great.”
“Get a blanket so the floor is more comfortable. I’ll get rope from downstairs.”
Once they had everything ready, Riju settled on the floor in front of the fire. Kit had never tied anyone himself, and he told Riju to let him know if anything didn’t feel right. He’d experienced plenty of bondage and seen it done, so he was sure he could do the simple wraps and knots.
He knew to double the rope to disperse pressure, and he started with Riju’s ankles. He was careful with the knots, and he bound Riju’s thighs together before doing his upper body.
“It’s not too snug or too loose?” asked Kit.
“It’s fine.” Riju lay back on the blanket. “I didn’t realize how much I needed this.”
