Page 77 of The Toymaker
Riju rolled his eyes. “I don’t need sex to distract me. I can think my own thoughts without you trying to control them.”
Trig lifted his hands. “Do you hear yourself? I know you pretty well by now, and this is another thing you’re obsessed with. It’ll pass, and you need to learn when-”
“Just stop. I’m not going to stop making and liking dolls. We’re also not going to work out as a married couple, and it’s not working out now. It’s certainly not going to get better with you treating me like this and making everything seem like it’s entirely my fault. I’m not fucking you, and I’m not staying. Everything-”
Trig made a noise and stepped back. “After this many years, you're going to kick my legs out from under me one morning because of one fight? That’s how you repay me?”
“One fight?” Riju gestured between them. “We’re fighting right now again because you can’t let me go. You can’t let me finish speaking half of the time. I can’t even justbelately without you picking. Also, how many discussions have we had where you ignored my concerns and rolled right over my thoughts? This isn’t like we’ve had an entirely perfect relationship with one little squabble over a minor issue. This has been building, and it's only a fight because it's about time I push back on things. I put my foot down, and you can't stand it. The contract, no safety word-”
“You know damn well why I did that, and that’s not the point. I already told you you’re not mature enough to be on your own. If it seems like I ignore what you want, it’s because I know better, and I can’t always follow what you think should be done, or whatever you’re currently obsessed with.”
“Maybe if I spend some time on my own without you trying to lord it over me, I’ll mature since it’s rather hard with someone hovering over my shoulder,” Riju said with a hint of sarcasm. “I need this, I’m getting it, and we can discuss getting back togetherafterI’ve had time without you. If I think you’re not-”
“You can’t even look half of the customers in the eye! How are you going to run a business by yourself?”
“I need this, Trig,” insisted Riju. “I need to make my own decisions too, and it’s not fair for me to be stuck here for the rest of my life just because you said so. If we got married, you still expect to have thirds and to do what you want. How can you not see this isn’t working anymore? If you want what’s best for me, then I need you to hear and listen to me because I’m tired of reiterating the same shit while you argue with the same shit in return. And then you wonder why I get upse-”
“I’ve spent years taking care of you. You’d possibly be dead on the street if I hadn’t taken you in that day. You hadn’t eaten in a while, you were dirty-”
“You can stop hanging the past over my head,” Riju said as he kept his chin up. “That was then because I grew up on the street. I’m not a child, and I’m not the man you met that day. This is me now, and I want to live my life in a new way. You should be happy I’m well enough to do something new and big by myself. If you help someone when they’re down, they shouldn’t owe you their independence, and that’s what this feels like.”
“If your business fails, I don’t have to let you back in here.” Trig folded his arms.
Riju pressed his lips. “Fine.” It seemed Trig could dump him even faster since he wasn’t going to be a good pet and trophy. “Staying with you isn’t the only way for me to have a good life, and maybe if you shrunk your ego a bit, you’d see it.”
If Kit wanted to be with him later, they could manage the business together too, and Kit could work with him if he wanted. They wouldn’t scold each other and make the other feel bad if one decided to go a different way.
“You’re not leaving,” Trig said slowly.
“Watch me,” snapped Riju. “You’re mad because you won’t be able to control me, and I might find someone else who loves me and doesn’t expect to change me. I'm done!”
Trig grabbed his arm. “Don’t you fucking dare talk shit and act like I don’t love you. After everything I’ve done for you.”
Riju tried to yank his arm away. Trig’s fingers were digging in so hard, they hurt.
“You wouldn’t be standing here and running your mouth if it wasn’t for me. It’s a new thing for you to focus on, like Kit, and you’ll get over it later. You’re not doing anything with him either until I say so-”
“I’ll do what the fuck I want. You don't own me.”
Trig suddenly jerked him forward. “I fucking saved your life and made you into the man you are today.”
Riju dug his heels in. “Let go of me.”
Trig snatched the collar of his coat to tug him closer. Riju’s forearm ached, and his chest grew tight. One of the men had grabbed him the same way when he’d tried to flee the warehouse, and he’d snarled that Riju was a piece of shit who needed to be tossed in a midden. Retards didn’t need to be sucking up the local charity.
“You’re acting like a total brat, and I should beat your ass like one,” said Trig.
How could he hurt Riju if he loved him? “You’re scaring me.”
“Good, because the real world is a whole lot scarier, and you can barely handle it even with me.”
“Yes, I can. You won’t give me a chance.”
Trig’s eyes bored into Riju as he tried to lean away. “I don’t know if Kit told you any bullshit or what, but if you think I’m letting you go out on your own when you can barely look at someone's face for two fucking minutes, you’re insane. This right here proves you’re not mature because you picked a new thing to be obsessed with, and you’ll come crawling back after a bit. I’m done with this shit, and I better not hear one more word about you leaving or your damn toy shop.”
Riju pulled back with every ounce of strength as Trig tried to jerk him toward the hall. “I’m not going to be your pet.”
“Right now, you’re acting like a retard.”
