Page 68 of The Toymaker
“But Trig…”
“Why would I hate you for another’s actions? I’ve been thinking about what you said. It was wrong of him. It doesn't reflect on you.”
“If he tries to do anything like that again, I won’t let him. Except…” Riju rubbed his forehead. “He waited until I left.”
Kit hadn’t thought of that. It was only after Riju left that Kit had been whipped, so maybe Trig knew he was wrong.
Riju peered at him for a moment. “This is what I don’t want you getting into later. Things can seem all right, and then it goes bad. Maybe some would think Trig acted properly because you willingly handed all control over to him, but I don’t, and I don’t want you staying here after your contract is done. Don’t sign another one if he asks. Get out as soon as possible. I’d take off the damn cage and make you leave right now if I could.”
“Why did you guys fight? I could tell you’d been crying.”
Riju put his feet up on the chair and hugged his knees. “There’s stuff I’ve been thinking about and wanting, and when I asked, he proved…what I thought.” He went to reach into hiscoat and seemed to remember he didn’t have a doll with him. “He doesn't understand-it’s complicated and a lot.”
That probably meant don’t nag about it.
“I used to have a sister,” Riju suddenly blurted out as he stared at his knees.
Kit paused. “What-you did?”
“Her name was Dory, and the doll used to be hers. She named it after herself. Dory died when I was five.”
Kit’s chest tightened. That’s why he’d gone to the fair with the doll and kept it all those years. It wasn’t just a favorite and only toy. No wonder he was so protective of her and trying to keep her the same.
“I’m sorry, Riju.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Riju suddenly got up to check on the food. “Would you sleep in my room with me tonight?”
“Of course.”
Kit wasn’t entirely sure why Riju had dumped the revelation on him. Perhaps Riju and Trig’s earlier fight had involved a bunch of past stuff he didn’t know about, and he was trying to keep too much in. Whatever Trig had “proved” must have been deeply hurtful, and he suddenly feared things wouldn’t be better by the next day like after a small spat.
Riju was quiet while they ate, and the food was perfect to Kit. Riju didn’t seem any better after Kit told him so. He cleaned the kitchen afterward, made sure the shop door was locked, and brought Kit to his room.
“I’m definitely not in the mood to play around or anything, but if we do later, and you still want to with me, you’ll have a safety word.” Riju sat at his desk with Dory and drew up his knees.
“I’m not supposed to have one.”
“I’m telling you that you can have one with me.” Riju pointed at himself. “Don’t tell Trig, and this is only when we’re in total privacy because he can’t know. I should have told you before no matter what the damn contract said.”
Kit sank onto Riju’s bed. “Okay. Riju…”
“Hm?”
Kit tried to think of how to word it. “I don’t know what you two argued about. If there's anything wrong between you and Trig, and you already seemed unsure of marriage before, this sounds like it could be a deeper issue that you’ve had for a while. Maybe you're not getting something you need.”
“I brought things up today and asked him about something.”
“And it wasn’t resolved to your satisfaction?”
“No.”
“So what are you going to do long-term? Do you think you two can fix it? Would it be easier without a third in the house or…” Kit wasn’t sure what would help since he didn’t understand what was going on, and he wasn’t sure if Riju wanted to fully discuss it. They were close, but Riju had a different relationship with Trig since they’d been together for years, and Kit was a new and temporary addition.
Riju sat the doll on his knees and held her by the hands. “If you wanted to get married and never have a third in the mix for any amount of time, is that an unreasonable expectation? Is it unreasonable if I’m okay with poly outside of marriage and not in it?”
Kit had a feeling where he was going, and he tried to choose his next words carefully.
“No. It's reasonable. I’m okay with being shared and used by more than one at times because it's a fun sexual activity. If I were married, it would be different.”
