Page 59 of The Toymaker
He’d loved Trig, and a part of him didn’t want to move out.
“I know I don’t say it a lot, but I do love you,” said Trig.
“I do too, but maybe I need this. It also doesn’t mean we have to break up. Two people can be together and not live in the same house. You say you want me to have a good life and learn more. You’re also trying to keep me from doing something that I want and could probably do quite well at. I never had a real chance to do it before, and I want it. I think I should have some independence without you deciding for me to stay here. We could still see each other and be together.”
There was more to it, and something told Riju to not blurt it all out. If Trig wanted another slave in the future, and the contract ended up being the same as Kit’s, Riju didn’t want to be a part of it. If he lived elsewhere, he could completely break things off, and it would be much easier when they weren’t in the same home. He wasn’t helping to pierce anyone who’d been roped into it or anything else inappropriate that Trig decided. If he still lived with Trig, and they argued again over the same issue, it would be a lot harder to refuse and put his foot down on the matter.
In fact, it wasn’t if. Trig had broken a couple of special rules for a Master and slave relationship, and he’d dare to do it again because he’d grown comfortable with it.
Breaking things off completely if needed would hurt, but Riju’s limits had been pushed too. He also neededtime without Trig constantly around to figure out things in his head because perhaps splitting up for good was a better idea, and he was sure saying so was smart. He hadn't made a firm decision.
Riju’s moving out didn’t mean their relationship was over. The thing was, there was a chance it might happen at a later point.
“I want us to stay together,” said Trig. “When I got you-”
There was that wording Riju had grown to dislike. It wasn’t, “when we got together” or anything similar that he would consider appropriate. He hadn’t noticed it for ages, but one day, he’d realized the wording didn’t sound right. Trig might get a meat and spinach pie for them to share for dinner, or Riju could say, “I got more cloth to make doll clothes” if he didn’t use the word bought.
Trig saying he got Riju made it sound like he was an item or a fancy pet he’d acquired, not a fairy being and lover with proper thoughts and emotions.
“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, trying to focus on the rest of Trig’s words.
“I didn’t think we’d end up in a relationship like this. Once you were a bit more comfortable here, and you became my apprentice, I thought that was it.” Trig made a motion with his hand. “We’d be like friends, I’d be your boss to teach you how to do stuff, and if I had a lover, you wouldn’t be involved. I didn’t expect you to be interested in me or even interested in sex. You said you were still a virgin.”
Said. For Elira’s sake. Riju had been a complete virgin, and the wording irritated him. They’d argued a few times due to Riju’s refusal to fully undress or bottom, and Trig thought he’d been raped in the warehouse. No one had ever touched Riju before like that, and he didn’t feel like getting into it again. “Before, I was focused on survival. If I had a few coins, I wasn’t going to spend it in a dirty whorehouse to experience sex. Here, I didn’t have to constantly think about where my next meal would come from, and I have needs too, you know?”
“I know you do, and since we started a relationship, I’m glad we did. Why do you think I mentioned us getting married in the future?”
When Trig had mentioned it once before, marriage had seemed sort of exciting. Why not spend the rest of his life withTrig? Something about it had also made him uneasy in a way that he hadn’t quite been able to put his finger on. Trig had said they didn’t have to rush into it, especially since he was still an apprentice.
Something he’d mentioned a couple of times over the years had later made Riju worry.
“Once Kit goes, I think we should get married within a year since we've been together for quite a while already,” said Trig. “We could plan a trip for a change of scenery and not worry about work right away while we're newly married. That’s what I was thinking we’d spend a decent chunk on. It’d be something for both of us.”
Riju looked toward the window where snow had started sprinkling on the cobblestones. It wasn’t cold enough for it to stick.
Getting married sounded nice. In fact, it sounded great. They’d have a holiday, stay somewhere, take a break from work, and Riju would fuck Trig’s brains out. Wasn’t that what a lot of people wanted? To get married to that special person and live out the rest of their life with them? They’d already been living like a married couple. They divided housework, ran the shop, and slept in the same bed, although not every night.
But there was more.
“Well?” asked Trig.
“You said you don’t need a slave long-term. It’s an itch that needs to be scratched.” Riju kept his gaze on the snow outside. “I can see getting the craving for someone you can do more with because I’ll never be like Kit. I’m fine with sharing, and I like to dominate another since I can’t do that to you, but if we get married, I don’t want thirds anymore. I’d be your submissive, and you’d be the dominant in our bedroom life. That’s it.”
“I’m not into poly marriage. I wouldn't marry anyone but you. The third would be for a temporary relationship.”
“I don’t want temporary thirds either,” Riju clarified. “For me, marriage is a thing I want with one other person with no one else. You’ll be my dominant, and I’ll be your submissive like now. No thirds. Not for a year, six months, or even one night.”
“But we’re basically living like a married couple now who engage in poly relationships at times. I don’t see the problem with occasionally inviting another for periods.”
Riju did, thanks to those words right there. He’d clearly stated an expectation for marriage, and Trig had said “but.” He looked at Trig, waiting to see if he’d say anything else.
“What?” Trig shrugged.
Riju drew his feet up into the chair and sat Red on the edge of the counter. “That’s it? I’m supposed to accept what you want and deal with it?”
Trig tilted his head. “Put up with it? You’ve been okay with it.”
“Did you hear what I said?” asked Riju.
