Page 23 of The Toymaker
“Okay, too much feeling.” Kit wasn’t sure if he fully understood it. He always liked touch. Sometimes in periods when he was single, he had a real, genuine craving for it. He’d also been getting the urge a lot with Perry who hadn’t been very affectionate.
It sure seemed like torment to Riju who still wouldn’t look at him. “Is there something I should look for so I know?”
Riju finally met his gaze and squinted as he adjusted his spectacles. “Not always. If I seem irritated, you should probably ask. I can just say so too. It’s not all of the time.”
“I want you to tell me if something is too much or if you just don’t want it. It’s your body. Is everything else too much?” Kit wondered if the crowded streets were getting on his nerves because of the constant noise.
“It’s kind of loud now. It's not horrible, I guess. You want to see stuff too.”
Kit did want to see more, but if it was too noisy, and Riju needed a break, then they should take one. He figured Riju grew overwhelmed faster than others even if he seemed mostly fine.
“We can find a spot that’s not loud, and you can take a break.”
Riju bit his lip as he seemed to consider it, and Kit wasn’t sure if he’d say yes.
“Do you want to go home?”
“No!” said Riju. “Not yet.”
“If it was just you here, what would you do now?”
“I’d sit somewhere quieter for a bit. That’s what I do when I’ve gone by myself.”
“Let’s go sit somewhere quiet, Master.”
“But you’ll get bored.”
“I won’t be bored. Besides, I want to have fun with you. If it’s not as enjoyable for you, it won't be as fun for me either. We can both rest our legs too. Come on.”
Faint relief flashed on Riju’s face as they started walking again. Kit was sure he didn’t fully understand what his Master felt. Maybe it would be like if Kit sat in a room while a few people screamed at the top of their lungs. The sound would grow irritating, and Kit would want out. Nobody was screaming there, but crowds couldn’t help but make a lot of noise, and there was so much to see at once.
By himself, it seemed Riju would do what he needed to feel better. If he was with a person, it seemed he thought he should do what they do and try to suck it up. Or at least attempt to, depending on the situation.
They were equals at the moment even if Kit had called him Master. Riju was likely afraid he was being a pain in the arse if he wanted to sit, and probably nobody ever cared about what he felt or wanted besides Trig. Since Kit was with him, he figured it was best to make sure Riju had a say in things or could have time to relax if needed.
The closer to the Castle they went, the quieter it grew since nothing fair-related was taking place there. They couldn’t go on the grounds, but the nearly empty green to one side with a well and a few droopy rose bushes looked good to Kit. They sat on a bench, and Riju drew up his boots so they were also on the seat.
Kit had also noticed he liked to sit in odd ways, and it must have been comfortable for him. Trig would occasionally tell him to sit properly, and he would for about two minutes until he felt like drawing up a leg or slouching in a strange way. Trig would usually sigh and let it go.
Riju took a doll from his pocket. Kit had memorized the names of a couple of others, but he hadn’t seen the blue-haired one.
“Annie likes it,” said Riju.
“I’m glad she does.”
Riju leaned over to kiss his cheek before he hugged the doll to his chest and stared at his knees. Kit leaned back and stretched his legs. It was nice to do…nothing.
He thought back to his first day and how Riju had let him lay on him. Kit had mellowed out from it, and Riju, who had said he liked theweight,had also felt like a limp noodle under him before Kit dozed off. For whatever reason, it was deeply relaxing to him as well even though he did it for Kit’s aftercare.
When Riju said he wanted to walk around again, Kit had already made up his mind.
When they returned home closer to dinnertime, he had a few strange things under his arm. Riju asked if he was cold at night because he could have another blanket, and Kit said no. It was for something else. He just needed Trig’s permission.
“What do you need the squares for?” asked Riju.
“I can’t tell you.” Luckily, they’d been pretty cheap. The squares were meant to be sewn into the bottom of curtains ordrapes as a weight so they wouldn’t blow around if the window was open.
“Why not?”
