Page 87 of Bloom
“Because Father had been married once, he’d had a child with her, and he didn’t want to have any other spouse besides Mother. He’d said he’d never feel the same about anyone else. He could love, but not quite like that, and he didn't want to force a step-parent on me. Having a kid was something they planned. He didn’t want me fucking without precautions or a solid plan between me and the other before conceiving. The same goes if I ever impregnated a woman. He wouldn’t let me leave her in the dust and go on with my life like nothing happened.”
“I don’t want to leave you in the dust either! If you’re carrying my kid, can’t we both agree to give this a chance and try to make it work? If we tried, we could be happy, and our child would have both parents. I’m not going to hate you in a couple of years. Plenty of people get married for the child, and things end up fine.”
“It sounds like you won’t leave unless I bodily drag you out by your ankles and tell the gate guards to not let you back in,” Aleric said in a low voice. “You’re trying to force me.”
“You’re trying to force me to go away so I can’t raise my kid,” said Jaime. “That’s not much of a choice, is it? I don’t know why you have to automatically think you need to do everything yourself and won’t even give us a chance. We conceived a kid. That part’s done. We should get married and raise it together because it’s the right thing to do. You’re not safe here, and neither is your child. What if they kill you later? Do you want your son or daughter to be raised by Gautier and Zachariebecause their niece or nephew would simply be an heir to them? They might see that as easier than getting a consort to have a kid later.”
No child should be raised by his Father’s murderer. He could tell Aleric was thinking of that and weighing his chances. Stay alone if he could make Jaime leave and remain in his little bubble. Or take the chance and put more trust in someone else.
“Aleric, please. I’ll never be able to leave and go about my life without worrying about the kid. I won’t know if it’s all right, or if you are-I can’t do it. I won’t have to carry it, but it’s a piece of me.”
Chapter Eighteen
Every fiber of Aleric's being was telling him this was going to turn out bad. Jaime was going to think he owned Aleric now, and he’d be trying to get up his ass by tonight. Why not fuck his husband-to-be? It wasn’t like they had to worry about pregnancy anymore.
When Aleric said no, and Jaime realized he wasn’t going to be up to his ears with sex anytime he wanted…Aleric might have to deal with worse than a verbal argument.
He hadn’t expected the sudden worry, as if Aleric’s well-being along with the baby was the only thing on Jaime’s mind. Like not a single other thing mattered. Maybe he wouldn’t turn right away.
It would just take longer.
Jaime approached to take his hand, and Aleric looked away. He needed Jaime because he’d be more vulnerable now, and the one protecting might have more power. He could hang it over Aleric’s head later. There were so many things that could go wrong in their relationship, and he couldn’t go through anything like that one night again. It might not even take two years.
“Come here.” Jaime tugged on his hand, and Aleric grudgingly let him lead him to the couch. Jaime sat and took his other hand.
It was odd that he was sitting and making him stand like Jaime was trying to be smaller. It was almost as if he was trying to be the subordinate.
“Can we talk without yelling or snapping?”
“Mhm.” There was something about this Aleric didn’t like. Men such as Jaime didn’t enjoy being the subordinate. Even on his knees the first night, he’d taken control, and it didn’t matterthat he hadn’t said anything dirty or sexual to Aleric in the last month.
“If you can’t stand my guts in a few years and want to divorce me, fine. We can decide on how to raise the child then. In the meantime, how about if we actually try to get along better? We’re going to have to act like husband and husband, and that means showing affection in public. We don’t have to make out in the middle of the Hall at dinner, but if we look like we enjoy each other and our company, we’ll appear more united. Gautier lost an ally. You’ve gained one. Poking a husband with his spouse and child on the line can be like poking a bear. After a while, we might be happy together.”
“Mm,” Aleric hummed again. Like fuck he was going to get all lovey-dovey with this guy. He might as well forget the slippery slope and throw himself off the cliff of no return instead. He’d rather divorce Jaime in a couple of years once the main problem was solved. For now, they could do the bare minimum. He doubted Gautier would stop just because Aleric had an heir and a husband. “Fine. We’ll act for a while.”
“But what if we weren’t acting? My parents were happy together.”
“I’m sure you’ll be happy with me. Happy that you have a hole to fuck.”
Hurt flashed in Jaime’s eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”
Aleric tugged his hands away, ready to be done. “Whatever.”
“You’re not a hole, and-”
“I don’t even know what you’ll be like in a few years,” Aleric burst out. “You might hate me and feel like I’ve trapped you in Côte. If not, you’re going to think you own me and can fuck me, or do whatever you want to me whenever you want.” The idea was making his stomach twist, and it was even worse with the minor cramps in his uterus. “Even if you don’t care to move up, I’m sure being the Earl later will be the sugar icing.”
“Just because you’re my husband doesn’t mean I own your ass. Or your mouth. That’s not how sex and marriage work. Your body is yours.”
Until someone bigger decided to take that control away.
“If you say no, I’m not going to ignore you,” added Jaime.
Bullshit. Plenty of men were nice for a while. The husband or wife would later have a black eye or hidden bruises.
“That’s disgusting, and I don’t get off on harming others.”
More shit. A man could turn in an instant, and Aleric wasn’t going through that again. “You don’t have to get off on it! You just have to be pissed enough at me. I don’t want to have to stand here and listen to this bullshit like we’re going to be happy five or ten years from now.”
