Page 88 of Bloom
“It’s not bullshit! Maybe we'll be quite happy in a few years.”
How Aleric wanted to believe him and get back the thing he’d thought he’d had once. “You can say anything right here, and do whatever later. You’ll know you can get away with it then too because nobody listens to me now! You know damn well if I go to Father in a few years and say you’re abusing me, he won’t listen. He didn't believe me before either, and I’m not-I can’t-” He didn’t even know how to describe the horror of completely trusting someone only to be overpowered.
Jaime’s face pinched. “You said-”
Aleric stepped back. “Except I’ll kill you if you ever lay a hand on me. It won’t matter if anyone listens to me or not. You’re not trapping me.”
He was never going to take that from someone he was married to and stuck with. The first lesson had taught him nothing. The second had drawn blood and made itself impossible to ignore or forget.
He’d rather hang for murder than remain with a man who beat him or shoved him into the wall and choked him. If they were married, it could happen over and over again, leaving himalone in a cycle of abuse. His stomach tensed enough to make him feel sick when Jaime suddenly stood.
Aleric had just threatened to kill him. Not all men need long before they show their true colors, and he suddenly didn’t know whether to run or draw his sword. His limbs froze before Jaime wrapped him in a crushing hug, and his thoughts stuttered. Why would he hug anyone who’d just threatened him?
“You told me nobody touched you,” Jaime said against his hair.
“I never said that. You don’t have to rape someone to hurt them.” Aleric almost wanted to shake him for being so blockheaded and forward enough to grab him even though it wasn’t sexual.
For a moment, it also felt damn good to simply be squeezed. It was like having someone who cared. It was what he’d wanted when he'd told Father the truth.
“Then what happened?”
“Nothing.” It was the first word that came to Aleric’s mind, and the first one to slide out as he pushed on Jaime’s chest. “Leave me alone.”
Jaime drew back enough to look at him and take his shoulders, although not too hard. It was still enough to make Aleric afraid of what would happen if he tried to pull away entirely.
“Stop and talk to me for a minute. I had a slight feeling there was something you weren’t telling me in the stable that day. I didn’t think it’d be-can you look at me?”
No. Aleric had run his damn mouth like a fool. Except…maybe if told the truth, Jaime would think him a liar too, and he’d finally go. Alone was easier.
“Something happened because you act like I’m going to start beating you after a while. I can see if you simply don’t like me that much or don’t have any real feelings, and you just found outyou're pregnant. It’s not normal that you’re threatening to kill me if I touch you later. Most people don’t automatically think ahead to what if their spouse turns out to be abusive. You're acting like I definitely am, it’s only a matter of time, and nobody is going to believe you.”
Because any man could pretend to love another wholeheartedly and turn quite swiftly. Kind words one day, and a hand around the throat the next. If that was how some men loved, Aleric didn’t want anything to do with it, and he wasn’t going to take the risk of trying to figure out what kind was in front of him when the consequences would be painful.
Jaime was already the type to do what he wanted a lot.
“I don’t know what you’ve experienced before, but...” Jaime dropped to his knees and took his waist. “I’d never abuse you, and you’re the Father of my child now…” He planted a light kiss on Aleric’s stomach through his shirt. “Do you want me to do something to prove myself? Is that what you need?”
He wasn’t supposed to do that to the accident child he’d known about for less than an hour. What if Zacharie blabbed to Jaime? Why hadn’t Aleric thought of it before? Of course, he would if he learned Jaime was marrying his older brother. He’d do it to be spiteful, or Gautier would tell him to do it.
He’d say what happened from his point of view and tell Jaime that he felt sorry for him since he was stuck withAleric, the selfish, jealous, pig who’d wanted to take away what was Zacharie’s and made up horrid lies.
Aleric jerked back out of Jaime’s grasp. “Gautier and I were lovers for two years, and we had a dominant and submissive type of relationship. I wanted to stop one night when he had me tied up and…When he couldn’t fuck me anymore, he waited until Zacharie was old enough. The other heir is good enough if I’m out of the way. He beat me once, but I didn’t say anything for years. I was too scared.”
Jaime, still on his knees, stared at Aleric with his mouth slightly open. A part of Aleric wanted him to beg him to believe it because he wasn’t a selfish pig who was jealous of his brother, and he certainly wasn’t in love with Gautier or wishing they were together. Not anymore.
“He-wait, you were his submissive, and he-he fucking used that against you?!”
“Yes.” Any second, Jaime was going to think it all sounded ridiculous and say he was making it up. He was trying to make Gautier look worse, or maybe he was lying about everything. The three outlaws had simply seen an opportunity. Nobody had hired them.
Everything would be thrown back in Aleric’s face. Jaime would tell him to go fuck himself and take care of the baby alone because he wasn’t staying with a crazy liar.
Pure rage showed in Jaime’s eyes, and Aleric’s heart rate shot up. He should have already run. He was about to bolt for his bedroom and pray he could get the door locked in time when Jaime strode toward the door to the hall instead of striking him.
“The fucking bastard is-”
“Wait! Jaime!”
If they got into a fight and tried to kill each other, Jaime might not make it.
