Page 118 of Space Balls: Houston, We Have Liftoff
“You know my parents died, but I never told you about how they left me long before the car crash.” I slide to my side, my hip resting on the carpet in front of the window. “I grew up watching my parents leave. My dad, being on the racing circuit, mostly left for work.”
Vance opens his mouth, but I hold up a hand, knowing what he’s going to ask.
“This isn’t about you being an astronaut and flying into space for months at a time. I know the difference between leaving for work and leaving for other, more selfish reasons.”
Vance’s shoulders drop, and he lets out a sigh of relief.
“But my dad leaving to chase my mother, that was selfish. Mom made it very obvious she wanted to be anywhere else than with me. No matter how large the mansion or spending account. She was gone more than she was here, and instead of staying beside me, my father ran after her. I was always left.”
My body, heart, and soul feel deflated after confessing that, but instead of hiding it behind my usual sarcasm, I stare Vance directly in the eyes, letting him see all my pain. “You need to know that Irefuseto live the rest of my life worried about that happening with someone else I love. And I definitely won’t have my kid feel that way either.”
“Ourkid.” Vance grabs my hand. “And they won’t feel unwanted because they aren’t. Promise.”
Whisps of hair that have fallen out of my top-knot swish back and forth as I shake off his words. “I’m not sure you get it. I’m not settling for less than everything. And if you can’t give me everything then I don’t want anything.”
“Okay.” Neck muscles tighten as he sets his jaw. “Then tell me what everything is.”
I drop my other hand over the one of his holding mine. “I want afamily.” I press down, trying to imbue the word with everything it means to me.
“I want that too.”
I snort and pull my hands back, waving him away. “See, you say thatnow, but if we do this, you need to know I’m going to goallin.” Better to know now than later, I decide to let him in on my dreams, see if he can handle everything.
Vance frowns. “What’s all in?”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair, stopping when I remember it’s tied up. “For starters, I’m buying a house. A house in a good school district with a big yard, and maybe even a white picket fence.”
“I’ll call a realtor tomorrow.”
I narrow my eyes at his quick response. “It needs to be two story, with room to grow into but not a new build. Something with projects. Something Pinterest worthy.”
His nostrils flare, but he nods.
Thinking I have him on the ropes, I add to it. “And a big tree out back for a swing and a spot where you’ll barbecue every Sunday.”
This time the nod comes more easily. “I’m Texan. I love barbecue.”
I shift up on my knees, warming up to the topic. “And room for a pool, but not actually have a pool because pools are dangerous for little kids.”
“Agreed.”
“And when wedohave a pool, you’ll have to host lots of neighbor get-togethers so we can vet all our kids’ friends to make sure they aren’t assholes.”
His eyebrows jump. “Kids?” he asks, elongating the s.
“Yes.” I slap my hand down on the sill. “Plural. As in more than one.” I eye him, waiting for a fight. “I’m not having an only child.”
Instead of rising to the bait, Vance smiles. “Sounds great. More cousins for Jase and Jacob.”
I sink back on my heels, my heart melting a little, thinking of my two feminist warriors holding my child’s hands while they toddle around Helen’s dining table at next year’s Thanksgiving.
“And the house needs an attached garage so you won’t get caught in the Texas weather while unpacking groceries from your new minivan.”
I start, needing a moment to recognize he’s adding to my dream. “Perfect. I love it.” My hands clap together.
I barely notice his chest puffing out, our future taking on a life of its own in my mind’s eye. “I want a Labrador.”
He considers this. “Labradors are smart. We should probably get two.”
