Page 117 of Space Balls: Houston, We Have Liftoff
“Word of advice to you and Brit, texting back is important if you’re going to take longer than an hour to show up.”
“I did.” Vance pushes his palms into the sill, his vehemence making me jump.
“Not at first,” he concedes with a shrug. “But when your doorman wouldn’t let me in, I called and I called.”
“Huh.” I guess that’s what I get for turning my phone off an hour after I sent the text so I didn’t obsessively stare at it.
Vance crosses his arms on the ledge. “It’s lucky there was an ATM next to your building, otherwise Doug’s lips would’ve remained sealed on your location.”
“Doug sold me out?” I pout. “That bastard.”
Vance raises one hand. “Yes, but onlyafterhe made me swear I wasn’t a murdering stalker.”
That appeases me somewhat, especially when I think of Doug working extra shifts to get his sister the new iPhone she wants for Christmas. “I guess that’s okay, then.”
Vance adjusts his position, the small movement making the ladder sway. “Jesus.” His fingers dig into the ledge. “This ladder takes more balance and core strength than spacewalk maneuvering.” He takes a breath once he feels steady. “I’d hate if my epitaph readHe died in a field of cow patties.”
“I’m surprised you let your nephews talk you into this.” My voice is snider than I’d like to admit. “If you’re so afraid of dying and all.”
The dig hits hard, and he winces.
“I deserve that.” He looks down, as if ashamed. “And I know that what I said probably sounded ludicrous to you, but those feelings… those feelings wererealfor me.” One of his hands clenches into a fist. “I spent thirty years being mad at my dad. Blaming him for leaving us, for dying.” He lets out a long, low breath. “I blamed Mom too.”
“Helen?” Despite myself, I lower to the floor, settling on my knees. “Did you talk to her after Heartbreakers?”
He nods, holding eye contact. Easier now that we’re at the same eye level. “Her and Brittany.”
My lips twist thinking about howthatconversation must’ve gone. “I bet that was a fun talk.”
He snorts, but after a moment, the amused glint in his eyes turns to beseeching. “Give me another chance, Rose. Please.”
Caught off guard, I rock back.
“And it’s not just because of the baby.”
“Vance, I—”
“I love you.”
Biting my lip, my eyes drift past him toward the glow of Cookie’s barn.
“I loved you before you told me about the baby, and I still love you.” He shifts his weight, moving into my line of sight. “I love how you go all in, no safety net, just live life to the fullest. I love how you care about those around you, not only in big ways but in smaller, sometimes overlooked ways. I love how you push me out of my comfort zone, and not gently. You showed me how dark I’d made my life by lighting everything up around me.”
“I love you too,” I can’t help but say. I don’t have it in me to lie or omit it. “And not just because you have super sperm.”
One side of his lips twitches.
“I love the drive and perseverance inside you that got you where you are today at NASA. I love how you might not be outgoing, but you actually enjoy being around people.” I glance down, taking an interest in the freckle on my knee. “And I love how you never once tried to change me, but like me just as I am.” I tilt my head, the corner of my lips curving. “Even when I’m riding a racist bully in blue Crocs like a prize bull at a rodeo in aisle five.”
“Especiallywhen you’re riding a racist bully in blue Crocs like a prize bull in aisle five.”
That earns him a smile, but it fades when I continue. “But youhurtme when you left today.”
His mouth flattens. “I know.”
“And even now, after understanding why you freaked out the way you did, though I can empathize with it, the fact that running away was your first reaction really fucking stings. Especially when I was so happy. Like I finally found what I was meant to do.”
“Rose…” He looks lost like he doesn’t know what to say.
