Page 132 of Unmasking Love
But I didn't see him smile once.
"He's been calling you?" I ask Wes who has crossed his arms and is tapping his foot as he waits impatiently for me to tell him what's going on.
"Yes, he's been calling me! To make sure you're okay. Because he doesn't understand what happened. He's asking if he can talk to you. If I'll pass on a message. It's borderline pathetic but I understand it because I love you so much."
"I'll answer his phone call, tomorrow." I promise begrudgingly.
"Fine. Now do you care to explain what the hells bells happened?"
I roll my eyes but make room on the sofa for Wes. He sits down next to me and I take a bracing inhale.
"He didn't want me there."
"He said that?" Wes asks.
"Well, no, but it was really clear when he won some stat record at the game I didn't even know he was going for. Ivanna knew. And then he didn't want to see me that night. He stayed at Felix's or something. Probably to celebrate this momentous career achievement, without me."
"Oh lawd. Enough with the pity party!" Wes throws his hands up in the air. "Listen, Harp, I love you, you know I do. And I don't know everything about you and your mom and why you think the way you do but let me be clear. Love is more than object permanence."
"What?"
"Did you still love me when I was across the country for work this week?"
"Yeah, you're my best friend."
"Right. And does thisbreakup feel worse than any others?"
Tears spring in my eyes and I look away from Wes to hide them.
"I thought so," he continues. "Do you know why?"
I do.
It’s because my heart and soul have changed because of Aiden. Our connection was cellular from the first moment we saw each other. He’s been in-stride with me since we got together, even pushing me forward.
He’s been patient, understanding, and encouraging.
He’s become my everything.
It’s time I say it out loud.
“Because I love Aiden.” I whisper.
Wes pulls me in for a hug. The embrace kills any resistance I had left and I sink into his arms and cry the tears I've been battling to keep at bay.
"I'm not saying he's right for not sharing the record with you or whatever, but you have to give him a chance to explain why he didn't. And then you have to tell him why that hurt."
He rubs my back gently as I continue to sob. I’m sad it took me so long to put this all together. And while I know I need to return to Aiden, I’m not sure how.
Can I just show up?
Should I call? Text?
Will he be ready to listen to me and my fears?
I hiccup and Wes pats my back. I turn towards him and sniffle. “I quit my job today.”
He stares at me for a beat and then slowly nods. “Couldn’t have just one crisis at a time could you?”
