Page 133 of Unmasking Love
Chapter 39
Aiden
Ringing Out
"Goodgame,"Felixsaysas we butt our helmets together after the end of a OT shootout win. I just close my eyes and give him a small nod then skate to the bench.
I'm going through the motions.
Food has lost its taste.
My head is in a fog.
I feel restless and jittery but also completely exhausted.
I’ve been home for twenty hours and I still haven’t seen Harper. She finally returned my text last night saying that she’s safe at Wes’s and that she misses me too.
But nothing about wanting to see me.
The riotous anger I felt when she first ditched out on me has been replaced with a resignation. I’ll be patient because she is my heart and soul embodied but a small part of me dies inside with every hour without her.
Tomorrow we have a full day off. No practice. No meetings. Nothing. Then games again Friday night and Sunday. How the hell am I going to occupy my time? I think about sitting outside Harper’s office hoping to catch a glimpse of her. But what if that pushes her further away?
I can’t risk it.
My parents are coming into town for the weekend. It's the first time they'll be seeing me play in D.C.
Two weeksago I planned to introduce them to Harper, my girlfriend, but she's no longer speaking to me and I don't even know why. I spent the road trip texting her and moping the entire time. The boys let me be, they’d take turns trying to bring me into group discussions or join them for meals out but I just didn’t have the energy. I needed Harper. Eventually they’d simply nod in my direction in quiet acknowledgement of my despair.
Everyday I’d expend the minimum amount of energy required. And once I got to my room I’d shower and climb into bed. Then I’d text Harper before staring at the ceiling until my eyes closed.
And a few days ago I started to text Wes too.
Wes said he'd have a talk with her last night when he got home. I think that’s why she sent a text back. He probably forced her. I just need her to give me a chance. I don't know exactly what she's upset about but I know if we can talk through it we'll figure it out.
I had a feeling I loved her before this, but now? It is a fact.
I love her and I don't want to be with anyone else as long as I live.
The only silver lining in all this is I'm so upset over Harper I haven't been obsessing over the trade deadline next week.
Gavin has started to practice again, I'm not sure when they'll test him out in a game setting but I have to imagine it's soon. They're going to want their star goalie in net for the playoffs.
After my post game session with the trainers I bundle up for my ride home. I try to lose myself in the rhythm of the pedals but it doesn't comfort me like usual.
All I can think about is how Harper won't be there when I get home.
We'd only been living together for a few months but already my life feels complete in a way I wouldn’t have been able to describe before. She has built a life with me. One that balances our jobs and interests.
I love youhas been on the tip of my tongue since Florida. I’ve spent sleepless nights imagining saying it to her and hearing it back.
The snow flurries start to fall as I lock up my bike. I'm glad it didn't start sooner because I do not want to deal with Felix driving me home or the team text.
I've been ignoring it for two weeks. The only messages I care to read are from Harper and she's not sending any.
I let myself into the apartment and hate that the lights aren't on. I hate that she's not busy humming while reading a magazine or curled up in bed with a book. I hate that I'm alone.
I keep the lights off and sink into the sofa, holding my head in my hands. For the last seven years I have made myself an island. I've never let anyone ashore. I never let myself spend too much time on the mainland either.
