Page 42 of Surviving the Merge
“Two? What? What do you need two for?” Sam asked.
I tore my eyes away from the bed to look at her. “One for my apartment, and I’m going to be spending time at the house in Chadwick, so I’ll need one there as well. The master bedroom is empty; I can put one of these in it.” Gently touching the posts, I asked, “How soon can they be delivered?”
“If your place is here in town, I can have this to you as early as tomorrow. I’ll even throw in a pillowtop mattress. The Chadwick delivery I can have to you by Thursday. You’ll need to purchase the mattress for that one, unfortunately,” he said, regretfully.
Sending a quick text to Ash asking if he could be at the Chadwick house on Thursday for the delivery, I asked Big-D, “Can you throw in the cuffs and gag as well?”
He considered it, then nodded.
“Where do I pay?” I asked.
12
“Shit.” I rushed around the condo, getting ready. I had twenty minutes to make it to Julie’s office. Quickly tying my wet hair at the nape of my neck, I twisted the ends into a knot. It was getting too long.
Dashing into the bedroom, I spun in circles, seeking out my overnight bag that I took to Seattle. “Come on, I just saw the damn thing,” I whispered to the empty room.
Spotting it peeking out of the half-opened closet door, I grabbed it, dumping the contents on the bed and re-stuffing it with items to keep at my apartment.
My phone chirped from somewhere. It had to be Blake texting for my ETA. He could be anal about time. I hadn’t planned on coming back here for a shower, but who knew shopping worked up a sweat?
Shoving in the book Julie gave me, I zipped the bag closed and thankfully spotted my phone without first needing to turn the place into a crime scene.
Racing down the stairs toward the door, I came to a screeching halt. “Keys, keys, where the hell are my keys?”Aha. Grabbing them off the kitchen counter, I was out the door and swerving into traffic with fifteen minutes left to make a normally twenty-minute drive.
I arrived on time to find Blake waiting for me in the lobby. He took my hand, and we entered the waiting elevator. As the doors closed, I turned to him in the confined space. “How do you feel? You look the same.” The seproxetine should’ve been working by now.
He took a moment. “I feel very relaxed. Not a care in the world. I should be nervous, but I can’t seem to bring about those feelings. Strange.”
“I suppose it’s doing its job then.” We knew the anxiety medication would relieve Blake and Damon of any stressors. Peeling back their barriers. But we were in unknown territory, and he might not have been anxious, but my blood pounded through my brain at an unprecedented speed, giving me a feeling of weightlessness. I would be confronting Damon. “Can you feel him?” I asked.
“I believe I can.” He squinted. Focusing on some internal part of himself. “There’s a weird sensation of being watched. Like something, or someone, is looming in my shadows. That’s the best way I can explain it.”
And he didn’t have a care in the world. Yeah, the medication was working.
The doors opened onto Julie’s floor, and after signing in with Sarah, we went right in.
“Gentlemen, how was Seattle?” Julie offered us both a hug and then instructed us to sit.
Before my ass met the cushion, I heard, “Seattle was amazing.” Damon’s voice always exuded arrogance. Its pitch much deeper than Blake’s. Jerking upward, I stared down at him.
“Granted, my view was limited to the hotel suite, but still, I enjoyed myself.” Damon turned his intense, possessive gaze on me.
“Justin, please, have a seat,” Julie said.
I lowered myself, not taking my eyes off him.
“Damon... Are you okay with me addressing you by your first name?” Julie asked. At his confirmation, she continued. “My name is Dr. Julie Hayes, but please, call me Julie. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
“Likewise. I’ve agreed to work with the three of you?my other options were not veryappealing.” He observed the room around him. “So, here I am.”
“Yes, here you are.” She offered him a warm smile, unfazed, while I hung nonplussed from the sudden switch.
“Being here was fairly easy for me. My mind feels open. I’m assuming Blake can re-emerge whenever he likes, or when he’s needed? I’m also guessing we’re sharing awareness?” Damon waited for verification.
Julie nodded. “Yes, as I explained to Blake during our first session, the seproxetine lowers your mental defenses. You're both on equal footing.”
Our sessions with Julie typically ran an hour, but that day she had us reserved for two. I listened to their exchange. Offering my input here and there, but for the most part, I played spectator. An interesting seat to be in. Damon nearly lost his cool at Julie’s mention of antidepressants and antipsychotic drugs, and I gained a new appreciation for her skillset as she expertly calmed him without removing the prescribed options—to possibly help control their symptoms—off the table. Honestly, I was just as rattled as Damon. I’d never agree to anything that could alter them so completely. Surely there were other options, measures less severe. But we’d cross that bridge if and when we ever got to it.
