Page 37 of QB Keeper
Now that we’re alone, I don’t hesitate. I tell her the whole story. I start with Cash pulling away physically and emotionally months ago, and me thinking it was just work stuff. Then I tell her what happened on Friday, and how I walked in on him with a woman, who I found out later was Sophia, in our bed.
“The old lady with the huge fake tits from your parents’ barbecue last summer?” she asks, nose scrunched in disgust. “She reminded me of Stifler’s mom, if Stifler’s mom spent the better part of her youth crisping herself to death in a tanning bed.”
I laugh at that, because she’s right. I never noticed it before now, but her skin is definitely on the crepey side. She’s a pretty lady and was always nice to me, but you could tell she tried just a little too hard at keeping up her appearance.
“That’s the one,” I say quietly. Even though I know it’s not my fault, it’s still so embarrassing, saying it all out loud.
She demands more details, so I go on, telling her how I ran out of the house like a whirling dervish, right into Tanner’s arms. Her head whips toward me as she slams on the brakes, causing the car behind us to honk at her. My seatbelt locks as I pitch forward, and I cough in response as the air whooshes from my lungs.
“Fuck off! Why was he there?” she asks as she accelerates again.
I blow out a breath, rubbing my chest. “I’ve seen him a few times this summer, working on his parents’ lawn. I guess he just got bored during the offseason. But it’s a good thinghe was there, because he owns the big lighthouse now and let me stay there while I was hiding from Cash.”
She tilts her head, a look of mischief melting over her face. “Did he stay with you?”
“No!” I reply. “I wouldn’t have even gone in the first place if I wasn’t desperate. The last thing I want is for him to watch this all play out. How pathetic am I that I couldn’t keep him, and five years later, I’m still proving that men just don’t want to build a life with me?”
She pulls into a parking spot outside of Chowders, turning off the car before looking at me. “Nope,” she says, shaking her head rapidly. “We’re not going to do that. I’m not going to let you go through this all again. I didn’t know you when Tanner left, but I know how badly he hurt you. None of that was your fault, despite the way you beat yourself up for it over the years. Maybe he was worth some of your tears—probably not—but you know who definitely isn’t?”
My face falls, but I allow myself a small smile. “Yeah. I know.”
“I always told you that you were too good for him. Now you can find the person you’re really supposed to be with. But in the meantime, go on and have yourself a little hoe phase. You deserve it.”
I snort a laugh, thankful that I can always depend on Monroe to lighten the heavy situations. We get out of the car, entering the restaurant and are thankfully seated immediately. We order our food and continue talking about my future plans as we wait. She asks what my parents said when I told them, and I tell her I’m waiting until the housing project is complete to avoid any drama. She buys it, thankfully. I also decide to keep the details about Cash threatening me to myself, because I know they won’t fly with her. She’s feisty, and I don’t doubt that she’ll act on her rage if I let her in on all of that.
“So, are you just going to stay at the lighthouse for now?” she asks.
“I don’t want to,” I say, balling up the wrapper of my straw before flattening it back out again on the table. Just the thought of being in Tanner’s house makes me restless and fidgety. “I realized when I first stepped through the door that I wasn’t really over everything that happened between us. I know I can’t trust him, and I need to keep a safe distance, but that’ll be almost impossible if I don’t get out of there and find a place of my own.”
She exhales slowly, her expression softening. “Do you think maybe it might be good for the two of you to talk about it? I mean, from what you said, you really cared about each other.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know, but I’m not ready for that right now. I’m still too raw from everything that’s happened. First, he comes back to Hope Harbor for the first time in five years and it seems like every time I turn around, he’s there. Then, all of this stuff with Cash. Even though I’m more pissed and embarrassed than anything, it’s still a lot. I need some time to sit with it all before I stir up any more old emotions.”
We’re broken from our conversation as the server approaches the table with our food, and I’m thankful for the reprieve. My mind has been moving at warp speed for days and the silence is welcome as we eat our lunch. I don’t know what the future holds for me, or a possible friendship with Tanner, but I can’t think about all of that right now. I need to take things one step at a time and heal my heart before I make any big decisions about what happens next.
TWENTY-EIGHT
TANNER
I bringthe ax over my head, swinging it down and splitting the log in front of me. Grace has used approximately zero of the firewood I cut for her over the weekend, but here I am again, trying to look busy so I can be near her. We have the day off today, and it’s pretty early, so I’m expecting her to be out the door to go to work any second. I’m not proud of the time I’ve spent stalking my own security camera, but it’s given me a great idea of her daily schedule. She obviously knows I’ve been here this week, but we have yet to speak again. I’m just dying for any crumbs she’ll give me.
My phone buzzes in my pocket with a motion detection notification from my security app, and I look up just in time to see Grace step outside with a coffee cup in her hand. I’m expecting her to be dressed for work, but she isn’t. Instead, she’s wearing a cropped t-shirt that hangs off one shoulder and a pair of denim shorts so short that if she opened her legs, I’d be able to see the heaven I’ve been dreaming of for the last five years. She pulls her sunglasses down over her eyes before stomping over to me.
Oh, shit.
“Here,” she says, shoving a wad of cash into my chest. Her hip is popped out to one side, and I can tell she’s pissed.
“What’s that for?” I ask, looking down to where her hand is pressed to me, but not wrapping my fingers around the clump of money. The longer she holds it there, the more I can feel sparks of heat firing off under my skin. My breathing quickens and I know I need to get myself under control before she reads me like a fucking book.
“Rent money for letting me stay here,” she says, and I want to put her over my knee and turn her ass red for the tone she’s using with me right now. I shake the mental image from my head, looking back up at her.
“I’m not taking your money,” I tell her, raising a brow, daring her to defy me. “I told you that you could stay here as long as you wanted.” I prop the ax against the log before taking a step into her. I don’t miss the quiet gasp that comes out of her as she moves back just a little bit.
She raises her chin, clearly ready to act like a brat. “Yeah? Well, you also told me you’d leave me alone if I wanted you to, so I guess we’re both breaking the rules, aren’t we?”
I know I should honor that. She hates me right now, and I did tell her that I wouldn’t come here if she stayed. I just wanted her to be safe. But now that we’re here, this close to each other, and she has fire in her eyes? I don’t know if I can stick to my word.
My brain tells me to back off, but my feet carry me forward another step. Our chests are nearly touching as I tower over her. She tries to steel her expression, but her tits are heaving as her breaths get heavier. The beast inside me that’s been sleeping for so long cracks one eye open, assessing the situation. And when he sees who’s standing in front of us, it’s game on. I know better than to push. I hurt her, and I deserve whatever reactions I get. So I’m not sure what possesses me to reach out, wrapping my hand around her throat, the corner of my mouth curling into a devious smirk.Her eyes widen, which spurs me on, even though I should be on my knees, begging for her forgiveness.
