Page 38 of QB Keeper
“I own this lighthouse, Grace. And you’re my guest. If I want to come here and make sure you have everything you need so you don’t have to lift a finger, I will. Do you understand?”
She clenches the bills tightly in her fist as she swallows, nodding her head slowly in response.
“Good girl,” I say, dropping my hand and backing away from her before picking up the ax. She stands there, dumbfounded for a moment, before huffing in frustration and stomping back into the house. As soon as the door shuts behind her, I exhale, reaching up to massage the ache in my chest.
Fuck, that felt good.
GRACE
“Who does this motherfucker think he is?” I mumble angrily as I pace the living room. After I practically ran back inside, it took me several minutes to get my breathing regulated, and now I’m fuming.
How dare he step into my personal space like that and tellmewhat’s going to happen? And putting his hand on my throat? What evenwas that? I’m glad it’s my day off today, because I’m going to need several cold showers to recover from it.
I can’t even deny the reaction my body had when I looked up at him as he towered over me. The dominance in his eyes had me shrinking into myself and submitting so fast, italmost made my head spin. I’m so fucking turned on right now, I can’t even think straight.
“No,” I say to myself. “He hurt you. You’re a bad bitch, Grace Valentine. You don’t need to fall at his feet just because he’s tall and hot…and squeezes your throat in the most delicious way, making you all fuzzy in the head.”
I’m going crazy. There’s no other explanation for the raging emotions I’m feeling right now. I despise him for leaving me here for so long and never coming back. And even more for returning after five years and making it impossible not to be in his orbit. For months, everywhere I’ve looked, I’ve either seen some type of reminder of him, or he’s been there himself. It’s all making the resolve I’ve spent years building up feel like a house of cards, ready to be blown over at any moment. I’m fighting hard to stay strong and remember everything that happened with us. So, why are the butterflies in my stomach fluttering around like lovesick assholes now that he’s so close again?
Every day, this shit gets more confusing. At the beginning, I was perfectly happy staying pissed at Tanner forever. But now I don’t know anymore. I’m going through a lot at the moment, and the only person who knows how bad it is, besides Monroe, is him. He’s not using my vulnerability against me. Everything he’s done has been to help, even though I’ve been pushing back every chance I get. It’s not like he’s holding the fact that I’m staying here over my head. He sneaks in in the mornings before I’m awake, makes sure I don’t need anything, and replaces the flowers on the counter when they start to wilt. Even though I don’t need it, he chops wood and cleans up, making it so that when I’m here, I can truly relax and enjoy the peace and quiet.
He’s trying to mend what’s broken between us, and it’s making me feel too many things all at once.
I know I should stand my ground. What he did back then changed who I am as a person. He took a piece of me that Ican never get back, and that’s almost impossible to forgive. I was a shell of a person for so long, that I gave up on my dreams and had to reroute my entire path. I’m happy with my job, but it wasn’t what I wanted when I was eighteen. I still want more, and had Tanner not broken me, I’d have had a better chance at the life I’d imagined when I was a kid.
I know that’s ridiculous. I let a man hurt me so badly, that I gave up, but I was young. He was my first love, and I never could’ve prepared myself for the damage that was done by him walking away and not giving me any semblance of closure. For so long, I thought it was my fault. That I should’ve never told him that I wanted to be with him for real. I should’ve just sucked it up and gone to California after the summer was over, ending our arrangement like we had planned. At least that way, I wouldn’t have lost him completely. Yeah, I’d have had to watch him move on and fall in love with someone else. I’d have had to witness his children growing up, wondering what my life would be like if he loved me the way I loved him, and I was the one he chose. But, I’d have had him in my life in some way.
I walk over to the window, looking out to where he’s carrying more firewood to the stack that’s now almost as tall as I am. I haven’t used the firepit once since I’ve been here, so I don’t know why he keeps chopping it. As he walks, I notice the tattoo on his calf. I can’t make out what it is from here, but it makes me realize how much we’ve changed since the last time I saw him. There are parts of his body that I knew like the back of my hand before, but now they’re different. He’s bigger. Stronger. And his demeanor isn’t the same. He used to be loud and obnoxious; always looking for a good time. But now, he seems so reserved. Socontrolled.
My thighs clench as he bends over, the globes of his firm ass straining against the fabric of his basketball shorts as he picks up pieces of fallen bark from the bricks underneath his feet and tosses them into the pit.
God, I miss his body. The way he used to own me and make me feel the way nobody else ever could? I wish I could just give in and take it back, but I know I can’t. The risk of having to start over again with another broken heart isn’t worth the reward of having him one more time. Because it could never be just sex with him. It never was. We’ve been there before, and it ended in disaster.
So why am I finding it harder and harder to keep pushing him away?
TWENTY-NINE
GRACE
Thunder crashesright outside the window, jolting me awake. We’re having a storm surge right now, and it’s been causing the sea levels to rise. It happens here sometimes, so the harbor is always at risk of flooding. But the lighthouse sits on a bit of higher ground, so I thought I’d be okay here tonight. Now that the wind is blowing and the storm is raging, I’m not so sure.
I check the clock, seeing that it’s two in the morning. I’m supposed to work at eight, but depending on the conditions, I may not be able to get to the boutique. I’m what you would call aquestionable driverwithout high winds and heavy rain, so I’m definitely not chancing it if I don’t have to.
I get out of bed, wrapping the comforter around myself because I’m only wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of thin panties. I pad out to the living room, flipping the light switch, but nothing happens.
“Fuck,” I whine. The power must’ve been knocked out by the storm. I’m a little bit afraid of the dark, have been since I was a kid, so being here alone is not ideal. But as of right now, I’m safe, so I’m going to try not to panic.
I return to the bedroom, grabbing my phone from whereit’s sitting on the absolutely useless charging dock, and make my way to the couch. There’s no way I’m going to be able to rest during this shit, so I may as well scroll the internet and start looking at pieces for our winter launches. Those orders will need to be made soon, now that the colder weather is moving in.
I try to busy myself, but every time the wind whips violently, the windows rattle and the foundation groans. I’m getting more anxious by the minute that the tide could reach the house. I don’t know what I’d do if it flooded and I was alone.
I decide to turn off my phone because it wasn’t fully charged before the power went out and I may need it in an emergency. Instead, I huddle under the blanket, trying to stop my body from trembling with unease.
A loud clap of thunder crashes outside, making me scream into the empty room. I clutch the blanket in my hands so tightly, that they begin to ache. I slam my eyes shut, holding my tears in while I try to think of something calming. Seconds later, the front door swings open, crashing into the wooden table behind it.
“Grace!” Tanner yells, closing the door before running over to me. He sits down, wrapping my shaking body in his arms. I immediately feel safe, melting into him as I cry.
“I’m here. You’re okay,” he whispers, rocking me gently as I try my hardest to calm down. Adrenaline is still flowing through me while he holds me tightly, burying his face in my hair. “I’m going to carry you out of here, okay?” he asks. “The harbor is flooding, and you can’t stay. It’s too dangerous.”
