I concentrate on brushing my teeth and washing my face.
I take care applying lotion.
I avoid my reflection in the mirror.
And when I enter my bedroom, I push my cute pajamas aside in the drawer and choose my frumpiest pair. Ones Luther has never seen.
Clothing Luther has never touched.
And it’s not until I turn my light off…
It’s not until I climb into bed. Not until I’m under my covers.
It’s not until then that I let myself think ofhim.
Chapter 100
Luther
My feet settleagainst the cool floor as I climb out of bed.
I can’t sleep.
Can’t settle.
Can’t shake this horrible feeling that’s crawling all over my skin.
I leave the lights off and walk through the dark house, letting the moonlight guide me downstairs.
To the liquor cabinet.
Chapter 101
Kendra
“Fuck.”I squeeze my eyes shut. The sunrise creeping in around the curtains is too much for me to handle.
The pillow against my cheek feels damp, and my throat aches like I’ve been talking in my sleep.
But it’s not from talking. It’s from crying.
I was crying in my fucking sleep. Because even in unconsciousness, I can’t shake thoughts of him.
And if sleep isn’t safe, then I guess I’ll get up.
And it’ll be better if I’m tired today. I can let the exhaustion distract me.
Staying in my worn sweatpants and oversized T-shirt, I shuffle my way down the hall toward the scent of coffee.
Dad seems to already be gone for the day, and that’s for the best.
I can only say I’m crying over Buddy so many times before Dad either gets suspicious or assumes I’m having a complete mental breakdown.
My eyes snag on the bag of coffee beans sitting next to the coffee maker.
The beans Luther bought me.
And my damn eyes start to burn. Again.