Page 165 of Mountain Daddy

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“Crawl to me.”

“Take your top off.”

“Does that feel good?”

“I didn’t ask what you wanted.”

I close my eyes.

I never asked her what she wanted.

And that was my fatal mistake.

I never asked.

If I’d asked… If that day, before pancakes… If I’d asked her and she’d told me, we could have stopped it then.

It.

Us.

I tip my head back and breathe.

What’s that bullshit saying?

It’s better to have loved and lost…

I don’t think so.

Whoever said that is full of shit.

Whoever said that never really loved someone.

Because if they had, they’d know that there’s bliss in the ignorance of not knowing what you can’t have.

There’s bliss in the lack of hope.

Because for a few weeks… I hoped.

For a few weeks, I pretended she was mine.

For a few weeks…

I breathe.

I wish I’d never…

I breathe again.

Met her.

Seen her.

Touched her.

Tasted her.

Known her.

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