Page 64 of On My Side
“I can’t listen to 4Play anymore,” she says, shrugging in a way I’m certain she’s trying to portray as nonchalant, but really looks like she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
I’m taken aback by her revelation. I’d thought she’d been listening, so I’d been careful to not think about her while recording, or do anything directly for her.
Which obviously meant I thought of nothing but her while recording. I imagined doing the things I talked about to her. Imagined what she would look like while I did, while she indulged in her pleasure.
I want her to seeme,the way she sees Sky. I want to share this side of me with her, share these experiences with her. I want her to understand that I’m the one who wants her, not Sky.
“Why?” With that one word, the world is turned on its axis. Her eyes flash, my entire body heats, and my boner from earlier is back.
“Come on, Ren,” she says, forcing a laugh. “You know why.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t. Tell me.” Because if the reason she’s not listening is the same reason recording has been a completely different experience, I may pass out.
“I don’t know. It’s not you. Or your scripts. But whenever I try to listen, and Sky… I mean, you start speaking, it’s not the same. It doesn’t give me what it used to, and I can’t…” She trails off, avoiding my gaze.
Can’t what? Get turned on? Orgasm? Stand the sound of my voice? Can’twhat?
I take another step towards her and lean in until my mouth is next to her ear, just to test something. I’m a data-driven man, and I need proof before I act.
“What if,” I breathe into her ear, “I told you recording them doesn’t feel the same anymore, either?” Her breath hitches. When she doesn’t step back or shove me away, I take it as a good sign.
“What would you do if I told you I think of you when I’m recording? That when Sky talks about the filthy, terrible things he wants to do, I wish it weremetelling you the things I want to do to you. Not Sky. Not a listener. Me and you. What would you do if I told you I think about the sounds you made when you came, as I fuck my hand in the shower? What if I told you that maybe I’m a bad guy, because I love spending time with you and being your friend, but it’s never enough for me? I want so muchmorewith you.”
Audrey stumbles backward and I reach out and grab her forearm to steady her. Once she’s stable, I let go and take a step back, shame washing over me.
Too far. I misread the situation and made her uncomfortable and ruined everything and…
“What would I do?” she asks. “If you told me that? You want to know what I’d do?”
I rub my St. Anthony medal between my fingers, staring at the one of the few pumpkins scattered on the porch. Ireallyfucked up. “Audrey, I—”
“I’d tell you to prove it.”
My neck snaps up and I meet her dilated eyes. Her chest is heaving, and I almost come in my pants again when she swipes her tongue along her lower lip. “You’d… what?” I wheeze.
“I’d tell you to prove you meant what you said,” she says, taking a step closer to me. “You say pretty words all the time to countless listeners, and I need to know it’s more than words. I need to know I’m not a faceless listener to you. I need to know it’s me and you.”
I don’t know if it’s her voice, which is somehow steady and needy at the same time, or her saying my name that breaks my resolve, but something does. I take a step forward, cup her waist and pull her close enough our noses brush.
Please mean it. I internally beg.Please don’t want him. Please want me.
“Prove it, Ren,” she whispers, and it’s game over.
I press my lips to hers and god, she’s so ready for me, immediately kissing me back with the same fervor as that night two months ago. She tastes like the cinnamon and nutmeg I used in the apple pie, feels like sin and heaven coexisting. She brings her hand to my cheek, running her thumb along my jaw bone as I nip at her lower lip. Her mouth parts on a gasp and I take the opportunity to let one of my hands slip beneath her shirt,the warmth of her lower back a stark contrast to the chill of the autumn breeze. I can hear the waves crashing on the shore in the distance, and I could never write a script as good as this.
I break our kiss and press open mouth kisses down her jaw, and her neck. She moans softly and fists my hair, pulling enough it hurts fuckinggood.
She lifts her free hand to her collarbone, pulling back the collar of her oversized Luke’s Diner t-shirt to expose more soft skin. “So Piper can’t see.”
I pull away and meet her eyes, breath heavy and cock heavier. “You want me to…”
“Mark me. Please, Ren,” she breathes.
My mouth is on the soft skin between her collarbone and shoulder blade before she finishes saying my name. I want to give this woman everything she wants, but especially this. Especially something that will make sure she can’t pretend this didn’t happen, that this isn’t real. Her gasps and sighs while I suck at her skin egg me on, and I’m not embarrassed to say the odds of me coming in my pants again are high as hell.
Until the sound of glass shattering echoes from inside the cottage.
Audrey loosens her grip on my hair, and I freeze, mouth still on her skin.
