Page 21 of Echoes and Oaths
“What did you name her?” he asked softly.
Her?
“Him,” Eira corrected sharply. “I named him Teo. After his father.”
Mateo’s eyes snapped up to hers. His lips parted, and then a smile, soft, broken, and reverent, spread across his face.
“A son,” he whispered. “My son.”
Eira’s expression turned cold. “You gave up any right to me, or to this baby, when you left us here.”
Mateo sank to the floor, crossing his arms over his knees. He steepled his fingers, a familiar gesture she remembered from long ago. It was something he always did when he was trying to choose his words carefully.
“Eira,” he said, voice low and even. “When I left you, I did it because I loved you. I thought I would bring nothing but danger into your life. I thought I’d cause you more pain. I realize now … I was probably wrong.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Probably? Mateo, I’m going to say this very clearly. I loved you witheverythingI had. I gave youallof me. And now, after almost three years of silence. Years during which I thought you could bedead! You show up and tell me you left me because you loved me?” She let out a hollow laugh. “Do you haveanyidea how insane that sounds?”
Mateo scrubbed his hands down his face and sighed deeply. “I’m beginning to,” he admitted. “At the time, it made sense. If I’d come back, if the war had followed me, it would’ve found you. It would’ve found your mother. It would’ve found our unborn child.”
“Bullshit.” She snapped at him.
“You didn’t know about who I was, Eira. You had no idea what I was involved in. The evil that moved in my wake would have consumed you. I couldn’t risk coming back. I couldn’t risk anyone knowing about you and how damned important you are to me.” His voice cracked as he continued. “You know as well as I do the factions in this war don’t care about collateral damage. They don’t care about women. Or children. They would’ve burned this place down with you inside.”
Eira’s mouth dropped open. She snapped it shut again, eyes narrowing.
“Or conversely, Mateo … you could’ve come and gotten us. Taken my mother and me and leftwithus. But you didn’t.”
He dropped his head and nodded slowly. “That was an option.”
“One you didn’t choose,” she whispered. “You left. You made the decision forallof us.”
Mateo’s voice was quiet. “Yes. I did. I own that. That’s on me.”
She stared at him, holding Teo closer. “So, why are you back?” she asked, her voice hard now. “It isn’t for me, is it? It isn’t for Teo?”
He hesitated. “No,” he said. “My employers sentme back. I’ve been tasked with eliminating the Ghost … and, if possible, Ortega.”
Eira flinched like he’d slapped her. She blinked in disbelief, her heart lurching as his words settled over her. She’d said it to hurt him. Had thrown the accusation like a dagger, praying,begginghim to deny it.
But he didn’t.
Her voice broke. “Did you ever love me?”
Mateo’s head shot up, his eyes locking on hers. “With all my heart,” he said fiercely. “And Istill do.”
“And yet …” Her voice trembled. “You left us here. Alone. While you went where? Back to America? What kind of life did you live, Mateo?” Her voice was rising now, bitter and raw. “Do you live in a nice house? Do you have air conditioning? Do you walk into a grocery store and buy anything you want? Do you have neighbors you can talk to without worrying the cartel will gun you down in the road? Do you sleep safely in your bed at night?”
She paused.
“Did you feel safe … in America?”
Mateo stared at her for a long, heavy moment, his eyes searching her face for some crack in the wall she’d raised.
“I don’t know how else to tell you that I’m sorry,” he said finally, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Imade the wrong decision. Every accusation, every truth you’ve thrown at me tonight,all of it, is on me.”
He struck his chest once, hard, as his eyes filled with unshed tears. “I made the mistake.I’m the one who screwed up, Eira. I should’ve brought you and your mother back with me. I should’ve taken you out of this hell. I thought I was protecting you … but I was only doing whatIthought was best. And I was wrong.”
Eira let out a bitter laugh and gently hushed Teo, who squirmed in her arms. The baby let out a soft cry, picking up on the tension in the room.
