Page 26 of Over the Moon

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“I ran a 5:23 mile in high school. I assure you, I can keep up with you,” she said, tucking the strand of hair that had broken free behind her ear.

“Ah, you were a track star. Is that why you write every single detail down in your notebook? Are you a stats junkie?”

I saw something pass through her gaze, and I could tell I struck a nerve. Every time I teased her about her notebook, she always went quiet.

I wanted to know what she was hiding. She had this tough exterior, and for whatever reason, I wanted to know what was beneath.

The woman intrigued me.

“I have my reasons,” she huffed.

I sat up and studied her. “You know, I have to tell you everything I’m feeling all the time. My pain level. How I’m frustrated about the lack of cardio we’re doing. But you don’t share anything. That doesn’t quite seem fair, Weeze.”

“I’m the PT, and you’re the athlete. You’re supposed to tell me everything.”

“It’s pretty selfish.” I tried to hide my smile. “I’m always giving, and you’re just taking.”

She swatted me with the towel sitting on the table. “I’m hardly taking. You mostly just complain about wanting to do more.”

“Well, I have my reasons.”

“Fine. If you want me to tell you something, then tell me why you’re so freaking impatient about going for a run and stepping up your cardio. You’re getting in fabulous workouts. What’s the rush?”

I cleared my throat and thought it over. I spent a lot of time with this woman, and I trusted her to get me into the best shape possible. She hadn’t steered me wrong thus far, and I was feeling stronger every day.

“I’ve been reading things online. A few articles that came out were questioning if I’d be able to repeat the season that I had before sustaining this injury.” I shrugged. “I don’t normally let things get in my head. But you know, hockey is everything to me, and if I lost that, I don’t know what I’d do.”

I was my own worst enemy sometimes. Letting myself spend hours reading what sports analysts were saying about my chances of coming back and repeating what I’d done this season.It was easier when I was an underdog. When there were no expectations of me. When I would grind and push hard to prove who I was.

But now, I’d achieved everything I’d ever wanted, and I didn’t want it to go away. So I was feeling the pressure of wanting something so badly and being terrified of it being ripped away from me. Achieving my dreams was both the best and the worst… because now I had to fight to keep them.

I was not going to let all the outside voices get in my head.

Eloise stared at me for the longest time before hopping up on the table and sitting beside me. “I get that. And this sport is not for the weak, that’s for sure. It’s what makes my job so challenging, because the injuries are endless. But you’re probably the most resilient athlete I’ve ever worked with. I promise you, you are not losing anything. I think people are going to be very surprised with how strong you are when you return. You’ve done everything I’ve asked of you so far, aside from nagging me about running. But we’re going to incorporate it back in after a month off, and we’ll see how you do.”

“Thanks. I didn’t expect it to take this long. I’m ready to get back on the ice.”

“Well, funny you should mention it. I booked us some ice time this afternoon,” she said, her lips turning up in the corners.

“What? I thought you said no ice for a month.”

I felt like a fucking kid at a candy store. I was itching to get back on the ice.

It’s where I left every worry behind. Where I came alive most days.

I’d grown up skating and playing hockey, and it was a part of me.

“Don’t get cocky. I’m going to skate with you. Nothing fancy, no pressure on your knee just yet. Just some casual ice time, all right?” she asked.

“Why’d you change your mind?”

It meant something to me that she’d take the time to arrange this. As if she knew that I needed it right now.

“I reached out to Everly Madden,” she admitted, looking at me like she was prepared for me to be annoyed. She mentioned me scheduling a meeting with Everly, as she was our team psychologist. I’ve met with her a few times. She was also married to one of the greatest players to ever live, Hawk Madden, who’d also played for the Lions. She knew the sport. She knew the struggles that came with it. But I just wanted to run. I didn’t need a therapist. “What did she say?”

“I wanted to ask if I was being too stringent about not letting you run. Some PTs would let you get back out there a little sooner, but I just don’t want to set you back, you know? So I asked her advice.”

“And?”