Page 22 of Dionysus
“Well, he’s in my prayers, and I hope he comes back with you, but Zeus, I don’t know if there is a you and me anymore.”
I knew she was still upset about me locking her out. I honestly didn’t have the energy to go back and forth about it. Some of me still felt like she wanted Pierre and couldn’t be honest with herself. Could we have talked it out? Sure, but I knew no matter what she said then, it wouldn’t have mattered because I know what I saw.
“I don’t know either, Sasha, I don’t. Do I love you, fuck yeah. Do I honestly believe you were innocent, maybe. However, what I saw broke me. It’s a feeling you wouldn’t understand and with this Dio shit my head is all over the fucking place. I—”
She sighed loudly. “Zeus, I don’t care what you thought you saw. I know that I did nothing wrong and you being the nigga you always are, you thought about yourself in that moment and not me. So, stand on that shit. If it’s not about Dio, don’t call me back. Bye, Zeus.” She finished and hung up.
It was clear I was the problem. I had always been the problem, and maybe I didn’t deserve her. I didn’t know what itwould be like for us when I got back, but for now, I had to put that shit on pause and focus on Dio.
Today was the last day another muhfucka was going to walk around freely knowing what they had done to him. Answers weren’t coming fast enough and all I saw was fucking orange. I just prayed my actions from here on out didn’t hinder Dio’s process because there was about to be bloodshed until I got the fucking satisfaction I wanted.
DIO
What the fuck was that? My mind felt like it was thrown into a pit then sucked back up like a vacuum. The feeling of not being able to scream for help while she gritted shit in my ear was scary. To know I was about to be taken away from my brother before I could hear his voice one last time made me angry. That bitch tried to kill me.
“Ace!”
I wanted to summon him because I needed him to explain what just happened.“Ace! Nigga where you at?”
“Dio, chill, I’m right here.”
“You know I can only go by your voice. Shit, what the hell was that?”
“You actually felt a hint of death. She killed you.”
Killed me?“She said I killed her brother. I didn’t kill her fucking brother. Esteban, that was an accident.”
“Boogie shot Esteban, not you.”
“Is that her brother?”
“No, the man you found on the ground that day is her brother.”
“So why me?”
“Why not you? You were somewhere you weren’t supposed to be.”
“Ace—”
“No. I’ve let you do enough talking. Dio, you being here is a you problem.”
“You had a chance to walk away from every single situation, but you chose to go in the opposite direction.”
“The life you had—”
“No, life I have!”
“The life you had, because remember, you are not out in the real world, you are here. You’re in this dark place where only you can hear your thoughts. Nigga you got yourself here. You’re hard-headed. You think about only yourself. You are the goddamn problem, and you need to see it. Dio, you will die if you do not see it, and I’ve told you time and time again. So again nigga, you can only save you!”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like I was being pulled in different directions. Even in my head, I was losing my mind. All I wanted to do was scream and scream loud.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Ace, nigga I know. What do you think I felt like, wanting to make the right choice, but you got niggas putting the pressure on you to be great? Huh! I fucked up, I did. I came to New York when I knew I should have gone with Zeus. I chose that party that night, although you didn’t want to go, and I’m sorry. I chose Bianca when my heart wanted,” I paused. “When my heart wanted Samara. Ace, can you forgive me?”
“Do you forgive yourself?”
“I-I’m trying to.”
“Trying and doing are two different things. You know how you feel, Dio.”
