Page 24 of Keg's Revelation

With the first soundsof a motorcycle heading up the drive, I stepped out onto the front porch. I’d had butterflies flapping their wings in my stomach, anticipating Reed’s arrival and nervous about the outcome.

It didn’t escape me that I stood in the exact spot more times than could be counted. The difference was then it was the excitement of spending time with him.

He didn’t look at me until he stopped, unsnapped his helmet and dismounted the bike. When he gave a small smile in my direction as he placed the helmet on his vacated seat, the gesture felt huge to me.

“I would have been here a little earlier, but I had to swing by the clubhouse for a bit.” He walked to the bottom of the steps that led to the porch.

“Did you go to check on Frankie? He called early this morning to let me know Rattler died during the night.”

“Freak called you, not one of the other brothers?”

The way he asked had me frowning. “Yes. Why wouldn’t he? It was his pet after all.”

“It’s no big deal. He usually is...standoffish with new people. Just surprised me that he was the one to make the call.”

“Oh.” I’d never felt so awkward around Reed. I inhaled then exhaled. “We can talk inside if you want.” I started to turn but realized he hadn’t made a move to walk up the stairs.

“Where’s Ry and Reagan?”

“Gran took them to Gramps’ clinic. He stayed there last night to watch over a dog that was in a bad way. Being Saturday, the clinic’s closed, so they went to help clean out the kennels and feed the other animals that are there. I thought it best they weren’t here for my inquisition.”

“Alright. Understandable. I just hope sending him off somewhere every time I come to see him doesn’t become a habit.”

I noticed he might have looked calm on the outside, but his words...the anger wasn’t buried too deep.

“I won’t keep you from seeing him, Reed.” After I answered him, my words played back in my head, and I cringed.

“Why’s today different or tomorrow? Is it because I found out about him, and you have no choice now?”

“You know what? Fuck you, Reed. I screwed up. I’m a lying, deceitful bitch for keeping him from you. I get that. Yet I stand here owning it. If you want the sordid details of my master plan, fine—if not, come see Ry anytime you like. The house phone number is the same. If you don’t remember it, look it up. It’s listed under Herbert Newhouse. I do ask that you consider spending time with Ry here until he’s more comfortable around you.” The situation was of my doing, but I wasn’t a doormat. I’ve lived and will continue to live with what the decision I made had cost him and Ry, that’s on me. I just refused to let Reed continuously throw it in my face. I turned and reached for the door handle.

“Raven, wait.”

I turned to face him.

“I’m sorry. That shit was uncalled for. It goes for yesterday, too. I should have handled it a little better.”

“You were caught off guard, and then you got pissed. I understand, Reed. I really do. I expected no less when you found out. You may have trouble believing this, but I was planning to tell you. I knew I couldn’t avoid you once I moved back permanently. Anyway, it’s okay. Call when you want to see Ry, and while you’re here, I’ll stay out of your way. I’m working at the clinic most days, eight-thirty to five. Or later depending on patients.”

“I’d still like to know why.”

“Okay. Would you like to come in? Or we could sit out here.”

“It’s a nice day. Sitting out here would be good.”

“I’ll get us something to drink. Beer, tea, water?”

“Water is fine. Your husband going to join us?” My face must have had a weird expression when I looked at him because he added. “Earlier, you didn’t mention he went with the kids, so I assume he’s inside.”

“Oh.” I looked at my now bare left hand. How awkward was it going to be discussing Derek with Reed? The two men in my life that I’ve loved and lost. Maybe I was flawed and never meant for happiness. I steeled my spine and looked at Reed. “You noticed the band yesterday? I’ve been struggling with removing it. Removing seemed to be the last part connecting me to Derek. But this morning, I took it off and put it with my engagement ring. My husband, Derek, died in an ATV accident almost a year ago. He was out on a call for horse, and the farm used ATVs to get around, it was a large spread. He tended the horse and was riding back to the barn and he must not have seen the fallen branch. It was the only explanation for the accident to have happened. He hit it and the ATV went up on two wheels, he was thrown, and his head hit the ground first. The weight and momentum of his body... He broke his neck. Once he was picked up by the ambulance and taken to the hospital, I received the call he’d been injured. At the hospital, the doctor told me he died instantly. Honestly, I didn’t hear all the medical terms after they told me he was dead.”

I wiped the few tears that slipped from the corners of my eyes. A few were an improvement over the sobbing that followed any mention of Derek’s death for a month after it happened. Mine and the kids’ lives changed in a blink of an eye.

“Christ, Raven.” Reed was up the stairs and had his arms around me before he finished talking.

The comfort he offered me even with what I had done to him, I shared my thoughts. “I lost you and then him. I’m unsure if I could handle losing anything else.” I placed my arms around his waist and absorbed the warmth being in Reed’s arm provided. Then I cried in earnest, but for the first time in a year, it wasn’t because of Derek’s death; it was because being in Reed’s arms felt like coming home. And what did that say about me?

We stayed that way for a few minutes until I stepped back out of his arms and again wiped my tears away. “Let me get those drinks.”

---