Page 67 of The Hookup Situation

I look at the messages on my phone once more before I fall into a restless sleep.

PRESTON

“Come on, just come,” Chris says, sitting on the coffee table across from where I’m lying on the couch with a giant bowl of Captain Crunch. There’s no milk on it, I’m just eating it dry. It’s helping me cope, sort of.

I’m not at all okay, and he knows it. He’s seen me fall off the rails over the past three weeks, with Jackson ignoring me. I’ve been sleeping a lot during the day, stopped shaving, and have been eating an inordinate amount of junk food. That's when I’m not punching something, or sobbing into my pillow. I’ve gone through all the emotions and I still am; but I think the one that is most prominent is heartbreak. I’m pissed as hell, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I feel so goddamn hurt. And the more I think about it the more pissed I get, because he’s treating me like shit and I don’t deserve that.

“I know things suck for you right now,” Chris says, ever the patient one. “But it’s the last night before break. Wouldyou rather spend it at home, moping around in your pajamas, watching the same TV show for the next six hours, and giving yourself a sugar coma, or would you rather come to a party and have good food, and drinks, and dance.”

“Well?” he prods when I don’t say anything, just shove another handful of Captain Crunch in my mouth.

“I’m thinking,” I say, through my mouthful.

“Come on, get up. You’re going. It will be good for you.” He moves down the hall towards my room and comes back with a pair of my jeans that he tosses to me, then heads into his room and finds the most god-awful hideous Christmas sweater I can imagine and beams at me as he holds it up.

“If you’re trying to convince me to go, that’s not the way to do it.”

He laughs and tosses it to me. “Get dressed.”

I grumble but do as he says. I’m sure Jackson will be there since it’s Lucy’s apartment we’re going to. We got an extended invitation from Parker. I have no idea what I’ll do when I see him. Will he even talk to me? Will he pretend I don’t exist? Is he with someone else now? Has he been fucking a bunch of other guys since we got back, while I’ve been so upset I can’t even fucking jerk off? I don’t know if this is such a good idea, but I find myself changing anyway, because I want to know, even if it hurts, and maybe going tonight will give me some answers, and some closure. I’m still not convinced that this is actually what he wants, but I guess I’ll find out.

When we get to the apartment, we can hear Christmas music playing through the door, and knock. Lucy answers and smiles, waving us inside. She takes our coats and hangs them in thecloset, then disappears, but not before telling us that there’s lots of yummy snacks and drinks in the kitchen.

There’s a crowd of people here already, laughing, talking, and drinking, and of course I spot Jackson on the other side of the room, chatting up some guy in a red shirt that’s clinging to his biceps and black pants that are so tight they don’t leave anything to the imagination. He’s wearing stupid reindeer antlers on his stupid head. Jackson is dressed in red pants and a black, almost sheer shirt, with glitter on it, and he’s got an elf headband on his head. Of course it looks adorable, even though I tell myself it doesn’t. I watch him for a while, before I can’t anymore and make my way into the kitchen, feeling sick and pissed.

Chris comes with me, but after grabbing a drink I tell him he can do his own thing and doesn’t need to babysit me all night. I know he’s sticking close because he wants to make sure I’m okay, but I won’t let him spend his whole evening around my grumpy ass. Guy deserves to have some fun.

I grab a drink and head back into the living area where I start chatting with Blake and Sarah, while trying not to cast any glances in Jackson’s direction and failing. He doesn’t even seem to notice me.

My jaw clenches when I see Reindeer Idiot placing his hand on Jackson’s arm. I notice that Jackson coyly crosses his arms so that the forward little asswipe can’t touch him as easily, but I’m still fuming.

I finish my drink and make my way back into the kitchen, running into Lucy, who is being dragged away by a pretty girl with large breasts and red curls, wearing a Santa Clause jumpsuit and a headband with blinking Christmas lights on it.

Rory and Parker are in the kitchen, and I know I should say hi, but I’m really in no mood to have a conversation. I’m too fucking riled up.

I put my cup down and pick up a plate, filling it with snacks.

“Hey, you okay?” Parker asks.

My reply is rude, and I know it, but I can’t help it. “Yeah, sure.” I shove a chip in my mouth and crunch down on it hard.

“How were finals?” Parker tries again, and I shove a second chip in my mouth.

“Great. Amazing. Fucking fantastic.” I know Parker just wants to help, and he’s so sweet, I hate being such an ass. I’m just not myself right now so I hope he’ll forgive me.

I hear a laugh from the next room that I instantly recognize as Jackson’s and my body tenses. I take a bite of a cookie.

“Listen, I know we haven’t talked much lately,” Parker says. “But you know you can talk to me. About anything.”

I nod and meet his gaze. “Yeah, thanks. I’m fine, though. Really.”

Parker squeezes my shoulder and he and Rory head back to the living room. I take a minute to catch my breath, and I think I’m doing better when I head back out, which I am, as I join Chris and some others for a game of Pin the Nose on Rudolph.

I’m laughing for the first time all night, until I see Jackson on the fucking dance floor with Reindeer Idiot, and they’re getting awfully close. Well, Reindeer Idiot is getting awfully close to Jackson, who hasn’t moved, but I don’t like how this clown is crowding him, and touching him, again, running his hands down Jackson’s chest, grabbing his hips and pulling him close.

Fuck, I know I have no right to be jealous because he told me it was just a fling, but I’m fucking watching the man I love get felt up by another guy and it’s making me see red.

When the other guy grips Jackson’s ass I fucking lose it. I march through the crowd and onto the makeshift dance floor, gripping his shoulder and shoving him away from Jackson. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

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