Page 4 of The Roommate Situation

We head inside and have lunch before I have to get to my afternoon classes. I hug my friends and thank them for everything before dashing out the door.

My last class of the day is Visual Development,and by the time it’s done and I’ve finished my shift at the campus bookstore, I’m exhausted. Fortunately I haven’t run into Zach.

When I get back to Jackson’s, Lucy is already there and they have food waiting for me. I seriously have the best friends in the world.

I turn my phone back on as I settle on the bar stool overlooking the kitchen, and my eyes almost bug out of my head when I see that I have twenty two missed texts from Zach. Mostly consisting of him saying he wants to talk and work things out, and the best part, that I’m overreacting. My eyes are stinging with tears and my face is hot as I finish reading the last few messages.

Zach: I know you were there today when I visited Jackson’s

Zach: We need to talk, baby. You need me and you know it. Don’t let a little misunderstanding get in the way of what we have.

Zach: That’s how it’s gonna be, huh? Well fuck you, Rory. Good luck finding someone else to put up with you, you little bitch. You know with how messed up you are you’re lucky I ever gave you the time of day, let alone thought you were worth fucking. You can be someone else’s problem now, if you can find anyone who will tolerate you.

Then there’s an audio clip attached, and against my better judgment I click play, even as tears slide down my cheeks. The room is filled with the noise of two men grunting and panting,and the unmistakable sound of skin slapping skin. My face drains of color as both Jackson and Lucy stare at me, trying to figure out if they’re hearing what they think they are, I’m sure, because I’m doing the same thing.

Yes, Zach sent me an audio clip of him fucking someone. I know I should turn it off but I can’t bring myself to.

“You hear that, Rory?” he says, as the other guy moans louder in the background. “That’s what a real man sounds like when he’s getting fucked. That‘s someone who appreciates what I can give him. That’s what you’re missing out on, you selfish little bitch. This could be you. But you won’t be getting my cock anymore. And I can promise you no one is going to want you besides me, Rory. Not the way you are in bed, with that pathetic little dick. No one is going to be as patient and as understanding as me. Remember that when another year has gone by and you’re all alone, you miserable piece of–-”

Lucy snatches the phone and ends the recording before it can finish, and I’m shaking and sobbing. I can’t believe they just heard all of that.

“What the fuck?” Jackson snarls as Lucy wraps her arms around me. “Did he talk to you like that before?”

“I…” I don’t know what to say though, the words are lost on my tongue and I just sniffle and cling to Lucy tighter. He’s said some things that upset me, hurt me, but never with that level of disdain.

“Hey,” Lucy says. “Don’t listen to him, Rory, he’s trying to get inside your head. He’s a loser and an asshole and you’re better off without him, that’s for damn sure.”

“Can I suggest that you block his number?” Jackson says. “He won’t stop sending you those things, Rory, and you don’t need that. It’s making you so upset, babe.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it,” I tell him, sniffling again and wiping my eyes. He frowns, clearly wanting me to do it right this second, but he doesn’t push me.

“Let’s do something productive, like get online and see if we can find you a roommate,” Lucy suggests. “It’s fairly early in the semester so you should be able to find something near campus.”

TWO

RORY

As I lie in bed that night, unable to sleep, I think back to when my parents had called me yesterday afternoon, just before walking in on Zach, and how I was telling them all about the plans we had and how I was looking forward to bringing him home with me for Thanksgiving this year. My parents and my little sisters are about a two hour drive away in Breckinridge, so I always make it back for the holidays and I had planned on introducing them to Zach, finally. I can’t believe I have to tell them that not only is he not coming but that he fucking cheated on me.

Not yet, though. I’m not ready to say anything to them yet.

I remember when Zach asked me to move in with him. Well, insisted is probably more like it, though I didn’t see it that way at the time. I was nervous, but I’ll admit I was flattered, too, at how he seemed to be so attached to me. I wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted or not but he convinced me, telling me we’d have more time alone together, that it would help our relationship. That he missed me and wished I was around more. I missed out on asummer with my parents and little sisters after not seeing them for almost two months because Zach was so insistent that I come back and help him get moved into the new place. Told me if I really cared about him and our relationship like he did I would put him first and stop being so selfish. That he needed me.

Now that I have the scenario running through my head again along with the current set of events, I’m realizing just how manipulative he was, making me feel like if I didn’t do what he wanted and something happened between us, it was my fault, or like I wasn’t a good boyfriend because I wasn’t spending enough time with him. Conversation after conversation fills my head with all the things he’s said to me over the past four months and how much he changed after we moved in together.

His charm evaporated and he became more easily irritated by me and my quirks. He didn’t compliment me all the time anymore, he didn’t bring me food when I was studying, he didn’t text me to say how much he missed me. But I once again assumed it was just me expecting too much, and I didn’t want to say anything and come across as too clingy. The one time I did mention his mood he snapped at me. Told me he was allowed to have bad days. The next morning he’d apologized and told me he’d just been tired, that maybe it would help if I didn’t go to Lucy’s and hang out that night and we had time just the two of us. I ended up canceling plans with her to stay home with him. And he’d said some things while he was fucking me that night that had hurt my feelings so much I’d locked myself in the bathroom and cried afterwards.

It went on like that for months. Him telling me I was too high maintenance. Him criticizing me for something, generally something he had found endearing or at least tolerable before, only to have him tell me I was being too sensitive or too needy if I brought it up, or told him he had hurt me. He loved to remind me how much he put up with for me.

“Fuck,” I say, as the memories bombard me. “I’m so fucking stupid.” I’m sobbing again as I realize just how miserable I’ve been the last several months, trying to be better and do better for him, keeping my feelings to myself so I didn’t upset him, trying to be the good boyfriend who doesn’t cause problems or get on anyone’s nerves.

Then I remember what Lucy said after I heard that audio clip.Don’t listen to him, Rory, he’s trying to get inside your head.

But it’s too late. He’s already inside my head and he’s so fucking loud I don’t know how I’ll ever get him out.

“Okay, it’s time to get out,” Jackson says a week later, setting his laptop aside and hopping off the bed. He makes his way over to his closet and flings the doors wide. “Come on, get dressed.” He looks over to where I’m sitting at his desk, attempting to do homework.

“I really need to write this paper,” I tell him.

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