Page 143 of Covenant

But I know he’s who I’ll choose.

Matthias is who I’ll always choose.

Just as he’s always chosen me.

The old fears rear their ugly heads. How I always end up hurt whenever I open myself up to Matthias.

I hover, just for a moment before kicking the blanket to the floor. Who the fuck am I kidding? My decision was made the instant Dalton told me how Matthias was putting himself at risk.

I can’t have that.

I get to my feet and march to the bathroom.

Dalton’s right. Matthias spent his whole life fighting for us.

Maybe it’s as simple as they make it out to be. Maybe it’s as simple as me showing up.

It’s time for me to fight.

For us.

33

MATTHIAS

“Why the fuck does it smell like a cat vomited up a dead rat in here?”

I groan at the sound of Cade’s voice. “Fuck off. No one asked you to come in here.”

“I think it’s him.” Great. Dalton’s here too. Assholes, the lot of them. “When did you last shower, Matty?”

“Go away.” I haul my sheets higher, pulling them right up to my chin. So what if I’m wallowing? Father didn’t allow it the first time I lost Wyatt. He’s not here now though, so I’m going to make the most of it. I’m going to wallow until I die. There’s no point in doing anything else.

“Nope,” Cade sounds far too cheerful for my liking. “Get up or I’ll get you up.”

I ignore his threats. “I’ve pulled doubles for The Firm all week. I’m entitled to relax.”

“You’re not relaxing, you’re sulking.” Dalton frowns down at me. “And it’s time to stop. You can’t waste your life like this, Matty. Wyatt wouldn’t like it.”

My insides turn to ice, fractures forming behind my ribcage. “Don’t say his fucking name.”

“What? Wyatt?” Dalton taunts. I know what he’s doing. He wants me to fight. He’s trying to provoke some kind of emotion that’ll prove I’m not dead inside. “Why can’t I say his name? He’s not yours anymore, is he?”

I fist my hand in the sheets to stop myself from thumping him. “You know he’s not.”

They all know. There was no way to hide the mess I became the second Wyatt walked out of my life.

After I told him to leave.

“You stink,” Cade goes to the opposite side of the bed as Dalton and rips back the sheets. He throws them on the floor before I can grab them back. “Get in the shower.”

“No.” I sit up and glare at him. “I’m not going to that fucking gala. You can’t make me.”

Cade gives me a charming grin. One I know spells trouble. “Oh, we can and we will.”

“No.” I cross my arms. I’m behaving like a petulant child. A brat.

Just like Wy. Before I ruined everything.

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