Page 17 of Honor and Claim

"Yeah, half the houses here, they say, are vacation homes."

"You should go say hello to the Amatos. Take them a gift." Oh, man.

"Dad." His name comes out whiny, and I know it.

"Basta.” There is a soft warning in his tone that has me checking my own. My father didn't rule with an iron fist, with me at least. I can't say the same for my brothers, but I do have a ton of respect for him, and if he warns me to cut the crap, I do.

"I don't know them; it will be weird."

"It would be inappropriate for you to not greet them."

"Okay," I relent, knowing this isn't a suggestion.

"You know their son Salvatore. He's single."

"Mom, no." I shake my head. "Tell her, Dad." My parents told me not to consider dating until I finished school, not that I ever tried.

I haven't finished school, but I'm in no rush to return. Not sure I'll be welcomed if I do. It might be college, but it's a Catholic one. No way I can walk around with a baby bump and have no husband. Oh, sure, I could. They wouldn’t tell my father or War no, but the judgment would be harsh.

Shit, why hadn't I thought about what my parents are going to think if I am pregnant? If they found out it was Z who got me pregnant. Double shit.

“I have been getting many requests, Cosima,” Dad starts.

“I thought?—”

“I'm not making you do anything.” Except go visit the Amato family. Once my mom said the son's name, it clicked in my mind who they were. They’d been at my brother’s wedding. If I recall,Z and I had gotten in a fight about their son. That had slipped my mind, but I did have a few too many champagnes that night, and I might have been flirting with a few people to see if I could get a reaction out of Z. I had, but at the time, I wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or him being protective.

I know on my part it had meant nothing, but I was also doing it so that Z’s attention would be on me either way. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that many women at the wedding too had their eyes on Z. So I kept him busy so he wouldn't notice, but I don’t think the man misses much.

"You're not interested to see who is asking?"

No, but I am interested in pissing Z off. It's a terrible thought, but I'm feeling rather petty at the moment. I could also use an ego stroke after he took my virginity and then bounced without a word, and I'm not counting that bullshit note. A note I have tucked into my purse to pull out whenever I start to soften to thoughts of Z. Who has now stopped trying to call or text. Another thing to add to my list of shit he’s done or is actively doing to piss me off.

"Maybe," I shrug. "What's going on back home?" I change the subject.

"We have dinner plans tonight with War and Tova."

"Cool." I pause, hoping they'll give more. "What about everyone else?" I ask, growing impatient, which is a major problem of mine. I'm sure that links to my poor impulse control.

“Ronan is Ronan, and I haven’t heard from Z.” Mom tilts her head like she’s thinking. “Have you?”

“No, but he’s been busy,” Dad responds. It takes everything in me not to ask with what. I really try to keep it in, but I know it’s only a matter of time before it comes out.

“With what?” I blurt out. Gah, yeah, no control.

“Personal stuff.”

“Personal?” I repeat back. What the hell does that mean? Aren't we his family, so we’re the personal things in his life. Unless he has a secret life we don’t know about. Which is possible. I try not to let my thoughts go down that path, but it’s impossible. What if he has someone special in his life? Tears sting my eyes, but I keep a smile on my face because my parents can see me.

“Z often drops off. We can reach him if need be, but I’m pretty sure he has a double life.” Mom laughs. I don’t find it funny.

“Does he really?” I didn’t know that, but then again, I haven’t been back in the States for long stretches, and when I was, things were always going on, and everyone was there.

I assumed he was in the city while I was gone. I hadn’t thought about him being elsewhere and me not knowing about it. But bet your ass he always knows where I am. Tracks my every damn move while he’s out there doing whatever the hell he does. Such bullshit.

“Yes.” Mom shakes her head. “Maybe your father should see about marrying him off next.”

Right, well. I’m done with this conversation. I thought seeing and talking to my parents would make me feel better, but through no fault of theirs, I feel even worse. I’m either going to burst into tears or scream, which will give me away.

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