Page 40 of Bang Buddies With Benefits
My friends exchanged wide-eyed expressions filled with way too much excitement, and Penny bounced in her seat. She arched her eyebrows so high I feared they might soar above her head as she placed her palm on the table and leaned in, her posture demanding I continue to spill.
The waitress came by to get our drink orders, giving me a second to gather my thoughts. Not that they felt particularly collected after she left.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m enjoying our time together, and I don’t just mean the sex.”
“Would it really kill you to admit that you like him?” Ellie asked.
“Maybe.” Salt granules from the fries stuck to my fingers, and I rubbed them together, round and round. “It’s more complicated than that. The other thing I haven’t told you two, as I didn’t want to worry you, is that I’ve been working on a wrongful death case, and the similarities between it and what happened to Mateo…” My voice cracked, and their faces dropped, and thank God I didn’t have to say the rest.
Since they’d lived through it the first time, and during one of the cases I’d worked on the first year of my career, they understood it meant I was having awful flashbacks.
One minute I’d be in my office studying photo evidence, and the next I’d find myself transported to the past, Mateo by my side.
The nightmares always included a pixelated, glowing green fucker at the end of the crosswalk who’d insisted it was safe to cross. The haunting sound of an accelerating engine where there should be the squealing of breaks.
A driver who was too drunk to notice the red light.
Being shoved out of the way by the man who’d just proposed and slipped a diamond ring on my finger. My palms and knees sliding across the unforgiving payment, the gravel digging so deep as I glanced back…
Right in time to see the man I’d loved in one way or another for most of my life disappear under the bumper of the car. There’d been so much blood, and I wasn’t talking about my minor injuries. The ride in the ambulance, the beeping of hospital monitors, and how the only thing worse was when it went from erratic to one steady, world-ending note.
Tears spilled down my cheeks as I returned to the present day, where my friends sat at the circular table in Paddy’s along with me. I snagged a napkin and dabbed at the saltwater, cursing it for falling and wishing we weren’t in public while my emotions leaked out.
“Oh, hon.” Penny flung her arms around me, drawing me into a hug that Ellie instantly rounded the table to join.
“I just…I feel guilty that feelings have developed at all. It feels like a betrayal to Mateo—if it weren’t for him, it would’ve been me under the car that night.”
Ellie sniffed, and I supposed that like drinking, it was less pathetic to cry with a friend instead of go it alone? “I know it sounds cliché to say he would’ve wanted you to be happy, but he would’ve.”
“She’s right,” Penny said, “Mateo loved you. That’s why he saved you that night, and why he would’ve wanted you to keep on living and loving the way only you can.”
A tight band formed around my chest, and God, it hurt. “I get what you’re saying but going down that road again scares the shit out of me. If anything happened… I can’t survive that level of pain again, not even withtwobladders full of rum.”
Stray strands of blond hair snagged on my earring, causing them to bop my cheek as Penny pulled back a few inches. “Do you mean like one in the vest and your actual bladder, or are we all wearing vests and sharing in this scenario?”
My laugh came out watery, along with a gross snort that meant I needed to blow my nose. “I’m just not sure I can do it.”
Ellie squeezed my hand. “We understand. And no matter what you decide, we’re here for you,” she said, and Penny nodded her agreement.
“I know. It’s why I’m not afraid to admit that I love you both like whoa.”
18
Zac
Catalina:SOS??????
I did a double take when I saw Cat’s text on Sunday afternoon, nearly dropping the drink I was about to serve in the process. She’d been quiet all week, her replies infuriatingly vague. More accurately, they weren’t what I’d hoped for, and since I was the one stretching the limits of our relationship a bit, I tried not to let it get to me.
While her message still landed in booty-call territory, at least she was mixing it up with her sexting symbols. I wiped my hands on a towel, left Zoie in charge, and rushed to my office, where I could concentrate on my dirty talk.
Me:You already wet for me, baby?I get off in an hour, and then I can come over and get you off with my ?? and my big, hard??
My phone vibrated against my palm, and I cursed the timing of whoever was calling me, fully planning on ignoring it until I saw it was Catalina. I shut my office door behind me and engaged the lock so no one would interrupt us while we were having sex. She must be super horny if she couldn’t wait until the end of my shift.
“While I am, indeed, super wet,” Catalina said the second I answered, “unfortunately, it’s not in a sexy way. My kitchen sink is possessed and keeps regurgitating everything that’s supposed to be going down the disposal, and it turns out neither plumbers nor those hot Supernatural brothers work on Sundays. I’m not sure what to do, and I don’t know who else to call, and I was wondering if there was any way that you might be able to come over and help me?”
Talk about mood whiplash. I snagged my motorcycle helmet off the corner of my desk. “Do you have a toolbox, or at the very least, a pipe wrench?”
