Page 105 of Never Have I Ever
“Wait,” I call out. He doesn’t turn. He keeps walking towards his car. “So that’s it? We’re over?”
He steps inside and shakes his head. “We never happened.”
He closes the door and speeds off, leaving me standing alone and heartbroken.
35
Angel wings
Grayson
“What the fuck are you doing?” Aiden yells.
Jesus Christ. My head throbs as his voice ripples through the air. He’s been doing that a lot recently, getting involved in things that have nothing to do with him.
“Drinking.” I spit out. “You got a problem with that?”
He narrows his eyes at me, staring down at the bottle in my hands. “Since when?”
I snort. “I’ve always drunk. I’m not a Mormon.”
He shakes his head. “Grayson. You drank one beer, two max. Never a full bottle of whiskey before.” His face twists in disgust. “You’re bordering on alcoholism.”
I don’t want to hear him anymore. I groan, burying my head in my hands. “Shut up.”
“I’m trying to help you out here.”
For fucks sake. My head snaps up. “I don’t need your help,” I yell. “Why does everyone think I need help? I didn’t ask you or her for anything.” Do people just automatically assume I’m a helpless fuck up?
“Her? Rosalie?” he asks.
I don’t want to talk about it. I ignore him, taking a drink out of the bottle, feeling the liquid burn in my throat.
“Is this about your parents?”
I wave a hand. “Yeah, sure.” I don’t want to go into details about how he was right and give him a reason to gloat.
“That sounds convincing,” he says wryly.
“Listen,” I say, looking up at him. “I don’t want to talk about my feelings or whatever bullshit you’re trying to do, so why don’t you fuck off and go find a girl to fuck?”
“Jesus Christ,” he whispers. “What the fuck happened to you?”
I look away, feeling my jaw clench. Rosie happened. She told me she loved me. She had to ruin a great thing we had with feelings. Why did she do that? Fuck, this is all my fault. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her, especially since she was so innocent when she came to me.
Aiden was right. She mistook what we had for something else, and now she thinks she loves me.
Fuck, I’m such a dickhead. I ruined that poor girl. I didn’t want to hurt her. I hated seeing that look on her face, the tears spilling down as she looked at me and kept repeating, ‘I love you’ over and over again.
Every time she said it, it was like a knife digging deeper and deeper into my chest. It fucking hurt knowing I could never say those words back to her. And when she asked if I had feelings for her, I didn’t know what to say.
The way she wrapped her hand around mine made my skin burn, making me gasp for air like I always do whenever she’s around me. It clouded my judgment and made my brain foggy with emotion, ready to tell her yes, that I had feelings for her. But then I blinked and thought rationally, and I knew that I didn’t, not in the way she was asking me.
I love being around her, having her near me, seeing her smile, the way she talks, her laugh, everything about her, but I don’t love her. I couldn’t love her because it wasn’t real. I like her, sure, but there was nothing more to it.
“Dude, just get out of here,” I mumble, bringing the bottle to my lips and taking a swig.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not until you tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me.”
