Page 84 of Someone to Have
“Thanks.” She smiles. “It means a lot when I know how much you hate flying.”
“Not that much. I’ll book a ticket tomorrow.” Even though panic flutters in my belly—knowing the last time I was supposed to get on a plane, I couldn’t do it—I smile. “I can do hard things. We all can.”
“I’ll be home before you know it,” she says.
“Hey, I DM’d Kristen Quinn about coming to the library or the bookstore for a reading.”
Her eyes brighten. “Did you hear back?”
I shake my head. “But I’m sure she saw the message. Has she responded to you?”
“Not yet. I’m not giving up, though. By the time we’re through our book club bucket list challenge, I know I’m going to convince her to come to Skylark for a meeting.”
“She can Zoom in,” I suggest. “That might be a lower bar to entry.”
“I want to give her a hug,” Sloane says. “I mean, not enough that I’m going to go to California to stalk her, but we’ve got lots of time.”
Tears prick the back of my eyes at those words. I know the past few months have been hard for Sloane, and I’m glad to see her regaining some of her optimism and spirit.
“So tell me about this sledding adventure,” she commands. “Why were you with the hottie hockey god and not Bryan Connor?”
I laugh then cough to cover it. When I think about spending a snowy day with Bryan, it’s with us reading on opposite sides of the couch. Maybe our feet are touching? Then I imagine the likelihood of him lecturing me because the book I’ve chosen is a smutty mafia romance, not some classic tome or recent work of literary genius.
Nope, that wouldn’t happen because the book would be onmy e-reader. He wouldn’t see. He wouldn’t have to know. And if he asked me about it, I could tell him?—
“That wasn’t supposed to be a difficult question,” Sloane says, sounding confused. “Did our connection go out? Did I lose you?”
I blink and snap my attention back to the phone screen. “Like I said, we’re friends.”
“But you want something more?”
If anyone else asked me that question, I’d straight-up lie without a second thought. But Sloane’s cancer feels like a lasso of truth around my waist. With everything she’s battled, and her vulnerability with us, it doesn’t seem fair to hold back to save myself some humiliation.
“I fell in love with the wrong guy.” I keep my voice low, like somebody’s going to overhear, but the words spill out like water over the edge of an overfilled bucket.
“Why is it wrong to love him?” She leans forward, matching her volume to mine.
“I don’t date guys like Eric and they definitely don’t fall for women like me. Never ever. Besides, he’s leaving once his sister finishes her treatment.” I swallow, this part being the hardest to admit. “I know he doesn’t feel the same.”
“Did he tell you that?”
“Sloane, he’s coaching me on how to get with Bryan. If Eric had feelings for me, he wouldn’t do that.”
“If he thinks it’s what you want and he cares about you, maybe he would.”
I wish I could believe that. I close my eyes and try to rein in the thoughts and emotions tumbling through my brain. Not just my brain but my heart as well.
“You said Eric is different than his reputation,” Sloane says gently. “Or he’s trying to be. Just like you, Taylor.”
I open my eyes and let her see every bit of fear I feel in my gaze. There’s no point in hiding it now. “I don’t want to be hurt or give my family another excuse to think I can’t measure up to theMaxwell standards. What’s happening between us doesn’t mean anything.” I wave my hand like it can shoo away my doubts.
“What exactly is happening?” She waggles her eyebrows. “Sexy-times stuff?”
“I’m not discussing this.” I roll my eyes. “You know he’s coaching me.”
Sloane snorts. “He’s a sex coach?”
“No, but…” I ignore the way my cheeks flame. “But being with him is helping my confidence. It’s making me feel like I’m worth wanting.”
