Page 83 of Someone to Have
We took a hot chocolate break and shared a Bananas Foster crepe while we waited for the boys. Eric also called in an order for wings, and we picked them up on the way back to the apartment.
I could tell both of them were nervous about having Mike to the apartment, and it broke my heart a little. They were worried about what a teenager would think of their life in a way that tells me neither of them grew up having friends over.
I guess when your childhood is marked by instability and homes that don’t feel like home, inviting someone in becomes terrifying. I grew up in a house constantly buzzing with activity. It got a lot quieter once Toby and Elise left for college, but Toby brought home teammates often enough that my parents didn't get too used to the quiet. I always liked the down times, even when no one else did.
As soon as I get back to my apartment to change clothes, my phone rings. It’s a FaceTime call from Sloane, so I hit the accept button and drop onto the couch.
“Whoa, did you just get back from a run?” she asks. “Your cheeks are positively rosy.” I place a hand on my cheek, which still feels cool to the touch.
“I went sledding.”
Sloane’s face has more life in it today, less of that hollow look that scared me so much before. But the IV pole still next to the chair she’s sitting in makes my heart ache.
“Outside?”
“That’s normally how it’s done,” I answer with an eye roll.
“You don’t do winter sports.”
“It’s part of making myself more confident,” I say even though mainly it was fun.
“With Bryan?”
“With Eric Anderson.”
“The manwhore with?—”
“He’s not like that.”
She blinks slowly, studying me through the camera. “What’s he like?” she asks softly.
“Nice,” I answer weakly. “We’re friends.”
“The kind with benefits?” she whispers.
I look away as if someone off camera is distracting me. Mostly it’s the way my heart is flinging itself against my rib cage like it wants to reveal all my secrets. “It’s complicated,” I say after a few long moments.
“Because you're falling for someone who scares the living crap out of you?” She raises an eyebrow, and I realize I've walked right into that one.
I deflect by nodding toward the IV pole, where a clear bag drips steadily into the port in her chest. “Speaking of things that are hard to judge—how's treatment this week?”
“Better than I expected, honestly. The nausea isn't as brutal asit was during the last round, and I’m still on track to be discharged in time to be home for the play.” She gestures around her room with its cheerful but clinical décor. “The doctors say my blood counts look good. If I stay on track, I should be in maintenance therapy in a few months.”
I nod, trying not to let my relief show too obviously. When Sloane first got sick, none of us knew what to expect. Having her hospitalized again and in need of a transfusion sent the book club into a panic. But she’s tackling treatment with the same stubborn determination she brought to everything else.
“And your brother's on board with you coming back to Colorado?”
She makes a face. “I’m not giving him a choice. The guy claims to be anti-marriage and kids, but he hovers over me like a Hulk-sized mother hen.”
The words might sound like a complaint, but I can tell Sloane appreciates the attention, even if it’s a bit smothering.
It makes me think about Eric. He’s made a few comments about not being fit for any type of parenting role or commitment, but his actions give a completely different vibe. I can’t help but wonder if relationships are something he made off limits in his head and heart because of how he was raised.
Like how my own shyness and fear of almost everything—but particularly letting myself be seen—has been like walking through life with a giant Macy’s Day Parade float tethered to my waist, holding me back every time a new wind whips up.
With his help, I’ve poked a few holes in the balloon. I’m still dragging it around, but it’s kind of sagging. Maybe after opening night, if things go okay, I’ll finally be able to cut ties with it once and for all.
“I’m glad Jeremy’s there for you, Sloane. If you ever need it, I’d be happy to take time off and fly to Nashville. Any of us would, but I’ve got weeks of personaldays banked.”
