Page 48 of Wicked Games We Play
“As much as possible, Flower, but honestly, probably not that often. Unfortunately, but it’s for both of our safety.”
My chest constricted as I watched her nose scrunching up with confusion. “What could be unsafe about talking on the phone? Or texting? Especially if you’re using a burner?”
She was so sweet, so unaware of the law enforcement life and the danger I was potentially walking into. I wanted to explain everything to her, but I also refused to scare her right before I left. Instead, I took a deep breath and placed my chin on top of her head. “If something happens and I end up losing my burner phone and it gets into the wrong hands, it would be so easy to pull your phone number from, and then pull the rest of your information based on your phone number. I’m not willing to compromise your safety, or Jordan’s, just so I can talk to you as much as I want.
“My plan is to keep my burner back at the motel I’ll be living out of, but you still never know. Shit can go sideways real fast when you’re undercover, and I won’t risk it. And I need you to promise me something, Lils.”
She turned her body on the step to face me. Her eyes shining with unshed tears. She was trying too hard to put on a brave face, but I knew this was hurting her as much as it was hurting me. “Anything you need, Noah.”
I looked away from her, hating that I was even saying this. “I need you to promise you won’t contact me unless I contact you first. Just trust me, please, and let me reach out first.”
In my peripheral, I could see Lily’s head bob in a silent nod, and she quickly wiped under her eye.
“I’m so sorry, Flower.”
“Noah don’t be ridiculous, you have to do this. It’s your job. I’ll be okay. We will be okay.”
For the sake of my heart, I hoped she was right.
* * *
“Well, you ready for this, Whitlock?”Wes asked, clapping his hand to my back.
A small group congregated around my desk, watching intently as I packed up a few case files and things I would need from the station while I was gone. The mood was somber, and it felt a whole hell of a lot like they were walking on eggshells around me. Which they should be, because I was beyond ready to pick a fight with anyone who dared question my irritation right now. Leave it to Wes to attempt to lighten my mood.
Was I ready for this? I could only imagine that there was malice in my eyes as I pinned him with my stare, but with gritted teeth, I nodded twice. “As ready as I’ll ever fucking be. I’m just ready to get in there and get the job done so I can get back.”
Wes nodded curtly back. “Get in, succumb to no distractions, get out.”
One of the guys sucked in a sharp breath, but I paid him no mind and continued to toss things into the duffle bag that was propped on the chair. A break from the department would be nice, too.
Once everything was in my bag, I ran through a mental checklist of everything I needed to grab, making sure I left nothing behind. Satisfied, I zipped the bag and tossed it over my shoulder.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you guys when I see you,” I told them, glancing at each of them quickly while I adjusted the strap on my shoulder.
“Be safe, Whitlock,” Wes said, clapping his hand against my shoulder again.
“I’ll be in touch, man,” Will told me, following suit and clapping my shoulder like Wes had done. Will was my point of contact at the station for this assignment; the one I was to check in with every few days and deliver my intel to. Wes would also be in contact, but Will and I were the lead agents on this case, which made us a team in retrospect.
“We’ll be seeing you,” Aaron said with a nod, and Mia, our forensic photographer, offered me a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
I offered a quick, tight-lipped smile and walked toward the door. Just as I reached for the handle, Aaron’s voice called out behind me.
“Noah, wait up,” he said, jogging toward me to close the distance before stopping in front of me. “Do you want me to keep an eye on your girl while you’re gone?”
My thoughts drifted back to the many conversations we had about what me being gone would look like. I told her to do what she needed to do while I was gone. If she moved on, I would have to accept it. I had interfered in her dating before…
“For safety, yes, but don’t stop her from doing anything she’s going to do. I told her to live her life. If she finds someone else…” my voice trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence. I hated the way it chipped away at the ugly, beating organ in my body every time I thought about her moving on.
Aaron’s brows wrinkled in confusion. “You told her to—why would you do that?”
“You’re young, bro, but you’re not that much younger than I am. Haven’t you heard that expression, ‘If you love something, set it free’? I can’t expect her to wait for me these next few months, not when she’s spent years pushing me away. I’ll just have to see what happens when I’m back.”
“You’re fucking insane.”
“Check up on her for her safety,” I repeated, keeping my voice even the best I could despite my rising anger. “Don’t interfere.”
I shoved open the door and walked toward my new, unmarked undercover vehicle that I would take with me to Bridge Point. The beat up silver Toyota Camry had illegally darkened windows and was old enough to not draw attention to the new guy who’d be working at the factory. A believable vehicle for someone starting a shitty nine to five in a brand-new town.
