I think about the other day on the couch with Chase and wish he could be that person to me. But that would be so complicated. I doubt we could ever be together like that. Not if my brothers had anything to say about it. I don’t know them well, but I get the impression that they’re super protective of me, even more so I’d guess since having me back. And while Chase is their friend, their brother, I’m still their little sister, and I have a feeling that would trump anything else.
Chapter Nine
Chase and I have shared stolen moments almost every day since that day on the couch. It’s only when he knows my brothers aren’t home. If I stop and think about it too much, I’ll wonder too much about keeping our budding relationship a secret. Because that’s what it is and what seems to be happening, even if we haven’t defined it yet.
We mostly hang out in the living room or the man room watching TV, like we’re doing tonight, but sometimes he’ll play his guitar and make notes in his notebook while I read my school books. Those times, I don’t really get any reading done because I love watching the expressions play on his face as heconcentrates, and I love hearing him play. I could never get tired of it.
Last night, he kissed me.
We’re laying on the couch together. This is the first time we have ever laid together; usually we just sit next to each other, and sometimes I will curl into his side like that first time we hung out. My back is to his front, and his arms are wrapped tightly around me. My heart is racing the entire time, and I have tingles all over. I am so nervous being here with him like this, but it feels so right at the same time. Like I belong here in his arms.
One of theTransformersmovies is on the TV. I can’t tell you which one, or what the plot is. But I can tell you what Chase is wearing, even though he’s tucked behind me – blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt – he makes even the simplest attire hot. And what he smells like – pine and Polo Sport – I asked. And what his body feels like against mine – strong, solid, and safe.
After the movie is over and the credits are rolling, Chase nudges me. I look over my shoulder at him.
“What’s up, baby girl?” he asks as he stares into my eyes.
“What do you mean?” I know he can tell I’m nervous; I swear I’m shaking on the inside like a cold, wet Chihuahua.
“You’re so quiet,” he says.
“The movie was on.”
“That doesn’t usually stop you from talking.” He’s right. The past few days he could barely shut me up.
I shrug my shoulders.
He flips me so quickly, I’m not really sure what happened. I am now on my other side, facing him, and he is looking straight at my face. Now I feel more nervous than before. “What is it, baby girl?” he asks again.
I sigh, trying to find my courage. He’s not going to let this go. “I like this,” I say, gesturing at the smidgen of space between us.
A wide grin lights up his face. “I like this, too.”
I smile shyly. “And I like you.”
He runs his loose hand up and down my arm in a soothing gesture, as if he can feel my inner wet Chihuahua and is trying to calm her down. He doesn’t realize it, but his touch is having the opposite effect. It is making my pulse race even more.
“I like you, too.” He finally says.
I am mesmerized by his beautiful blues, and by the fact that this beautiful man likes me. He actually likes me. I don’t realize I am smiling like a kid in a candy store until I see my smile reflected in his own.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he says quietly, then he leans forward and swiftly kisses me. His free hand goes up to my head, tangling in my hair and holding me close. His tongue licks the seam of my lips until I open my mouth to him. It’s intense. Amazing. Hungry. This is the most amazing first kiss ever, and when he finally pulls away, both of us are panting. I can’t help but want more.
Chase stares into my eyes for a beat, apparently as stunned as I am by what just happened. Then he pulls away from me. “I’m so sorry, Ally.”
“What? Why?” I’m confused. I know this isn’t ideal because we are sneaking around behind my brothers’ backs and all, but why is he sorry?
He shakes his head, “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Yes, you should have,” I argue.
“No, Ally. It’s not right. You’re not in the right head space for something like that.”
What? He doesn’t think I am in the right head space? I’ll show him I’m in the right head space. I lean forward, eliminating the gap between us, and kiss him. I kiss him with the same urgency and passion with which he just kissed me. This time it’s my hand in his hair, pulling him closer. He groans, yes, groans, and deepens the kiss.
I swear I could die tomorrow, and I would die happy.
“What are you thinking about, gorgeous?” Chase asks me from the end of the couch, where my feet are resting in his lap.