Page 27 of Until You're Breathless

“Hey. I would have called first, but I was in the area, and I just wanted to run something by you.”

“Sure, that’s okay. Jinny’s out with her mother.”

“You weren’t busy, were you?”

“No. You actually came at the perfect time.”

My mouth starts before my brain does. “Why did you cheat on me?” I cover my mouth, as if I’ve been possessed.

He shakes his head slightly, looking at the polished granite flooring. “I knew that this was going to come up at one time or another.”

“I just...I have to know. I know it was ages ago. And it’s not your fault that I never dealt with it properly, but now that I’m dealing with things the way that I should have dealt with them years ago, I need to know why. What we had then was perfect. Everything was so perfect. Was that why? I mean, were you scared that we were so perfect together? Because I never would have forced you to marry me, Jagger. You know that.”

He raises a hand. “Come. Sit.”

“Okay.” I breathe, following him.

He finds his way to the living room and sits down on the leather sofa. He pulls his phone out of his suit pocket and scrolls through it for a moment, before setting it on the table. I can hear ringing.

A girl answers. “Jagger. How’s it hangin’?”

“To the left.” He answers cockily. “Hey, Kayla, do you remember back in high school, that night at Jinny’s old lady’s house? When you and I got so drunk playing quarters that we both puked and then passed out in her mom’s bed?”

“I’m still hung over from that night.” She scoffs.

“Hey, how come you and I never fucked?”

“Jagger, if you remember, we both crawled from the bathroom floor to the bed, and I helped your sorry ass up onto the bed. We couldn’t walk down the goddamn stairs for twelve hours, do you honestly think either of us were in any condition to get it on?” She chuckles. “Why? Is your ego still wounded? Hey, did you ever tell Bowie the truth?”

My heart is beating out of my chest. I can feel a lump in my throat. But I also feel my fist ball up with rage.

“No. It wouldn’t have made a shit bit of difference.”

“True. Besides, she got over you pretty fast.” Another scoff. “Hey, thanks for the awkward trip down memory lane, man. But I’ve got a client coming in five. I’ll see you in a few weeks for Stevie’s birthday?”

“Yeah. I’ll see ya.”

He ends the call. He doesn’t look at me. He rests back in the sofa, folding his arms over his chest.

I can’t stop the tears. “Why...why didn’t you tell me, Jagger?”

He scrapes a hand down his face before leaning up. “Because you didn’t even give me a fucking chance, that’s why. You ran off and hid, and when you finally came out of hiding, you’d already been fucking Boston. You wouldn’t return my calls, my letters, hell, I even came by your house once, and you wouldn’t answer the goddamn door. The rumor mill got the best of me, and I didn’t bother wasting the energy trying to clear my name, because I’d already lost you, and I figured what does it matter now.”

“And nothing happened.” I say again, testing the words on my tongue.

“Never.” He scrapes a hand down his face. “I should never have drunk that night. It was my own stupidity. I didn’t know any better. That was back when Jinny was drinking, and she made out like a couple of shots wouldn’t hurt me, but she was so fucking wrong. I was sick as hell, and I’ve never done it again since.”

Silence.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and sit up straight.

“I loved you more than life itself, Bowie. I would never have dreamed of sleeping with someone else.” A pause for emphasis. “You were right when you said that what we had was perfect. It was so goddamn perfect. I’d never loved anyone as much as I loved you, and...” He trails off.

“And what?” I sniff.

He hesitates, releasing a breath, before grunting the words. “Well, as luck would have it, I’ve never loved anyone since. I wish I could speak for the both of us, but I can’t.”

This breaks my heart. I thought my heart was broken from Boston, but this, this takes the cake. More than fifteen years have passed, and I still feel like it just happened yesterday. Jagger reaches over, hearing me cry, and he places a hand on my back. “It’s in the past, Bowie. Leave it there.”

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