Page 9 of Broken Dreams
“You know, you’re doing a really good job convincing me it’s time,” I say with sarcasm.
Maybe I’m not ready for this. I’m okay alone. I have my daughter, she’s amazing. I have my friends and I’m a part of the Arrowood family as if I was born into it. Devney saved my life by having me come live here after my husband’s death. I’m happy and have a great job that fills my soul by helping runaways find help instead of ending up in a horrific situation. Sure, I’m lonely and miss being held, kissed, loved, but that’ll fade more over time.
However, I have a motivating reason, I need a date for Jenna’s wedding back home in Oregon.
Chloe rests her hand on my arm. “I’m curious though, why now?”
I let out a soft chuckle. “I need a date for that wedding. I’m tired of being Isaac’s widow and living under that cloud when I’m there. It may seem stupid, but it’s what’s pushing me to put myself back out there, and I don’t think he would’ve wanted me to be alone and sad. So, carpe diem and all that shit.”
I needed to say it. To speak the words into existence and let the universe know I’m open to possibilities.
“I think he would too. I tell myself the same thing, I just wish it was as easy as it was to find Chet. He came up to me on the bus, sat beside me and smiled, I did the same and then he held my hand. I don’t know, that was that.”
“It was easier when we were kids,” I agree. It was easy for me too. I liked Isaac, he liked me, and I kissed his cheek one day, then we were together.
“And here we are now, adults and trying to have lightning strike twice.”
I nod and take a bite of my cookie. “I’d appreciate if it at least gave me a jolt in the next two months.”
Her lips purse. “Wait...two months?”
I sigh. “My childhood friend is getting married, and her fiancé is running for senator out in Oregon, so they’re going all out. I really, really don’t want to go alone, especially because I’m a bridesmaid. I need to have a date. Ineedto be with a man who is hopelessly smitten with me.”
I don’t have to explain why. She understands how hard it is to be in the place you had your whole life altered. When I go back to Rose Canyon this time, I will not be that girl. I’ll be in a different place—a better one.
So here I am, unattached men, I’m ready for love.
“Dating with a time crunch, what could go wrong?”
“Hey, Addy,” Phil Davenport says as he comes to stand beside Chloe. “Great meeting today.”
“Hey, yeah, it was. I’m glad to hear that you’re coping better with your mother’s death this session.”
Phil’s mom died about four years ago. He lived with her his whole life, cared for her through her cancer, and their relationship was always a little strange, according to Chloe. They were partners in the annual dance-a-thon, they played BINGO together at the Rotary Club, and they shared other unconventional moments that the town always scratched their heads at. However, there’s no judgment at our meetings. It’s a safe place where we can come and work through our emotions.
After the meeting at the diner, though, is a different story.
“I am. I miss her, she was my best friend, but then you understand that. I know you felt the same way about your husband.”
I nod, because words are kind of...lost on me with that one. Losing a parent is hard, but it’s not the same emotions as it is when you lose a spouse.
Chloe smirks and takes a sip of her coffee.
Phil lets out a deep sigh. “Well, I’m really excited for you. To go out and just take what you want. To be unafraid to try to find love again.”
“Thank you, Phil.”
“You inspired me. So, I was thinking I’ll pick you up and we can go out on Friday night.”
Chloe chokes on her drink and I stand here with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Friday. I figure since you just announced you’re dating again, you’re probably free this Friday? It could be Saturday or even Sunday if that’s better for you.” He leans in. “I think we both feel this attraction and now we can explore it since you’re open to love.”
Oh Jesus. I look to Chloe for help, but the traitor just laughs silently. I don’t know what to say. Phil is a nice guy, but...definitely not my type. He is probably about eight years younger than I am, and we have nothing in common.
This seriously can’t be happening to me at our grief support group. “You know, I’m not sure I’m ready to start this weekend.”
“No? I know that it feels fast, but you even said a few months ago that we have to act when we know it’s right.”
