Page 88 of Broken Dreams
“I know, trust me, I’m not giving that kid an ounce of sugar. It’s not like when you’re coming back and have to deal with her.”
I roll my eyes. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“See you tomorrow. Have fun!”
I’m going to try.
I get downstairs right as Grady is pulling in and head to the car. He gets out, kisses my cheek, and then takes the bags from my hand. “I got this.”
“Thanks.”
I get in the car, and as he puts the bags in the trunk, my nerves start to build again. I don’t think I’m ready.
I mean, I could be.
I want to be.
It’s been a really fucking long time of no sex. I liked sex. I was pretty good at it too, I think. I mean, Isaac never complained. Not that he was vastly experienced either, since we were both virgins when we met.
Being that we were eight.
Oh God. What if I’m bad at it? What if I really suck, and not the good suck, like the sucking that’s not wanted? That’s a possibility. Maybe I never heard complaints because there was nothing to compare it to.
Grady can compare.
He climbs in and lets out a sigh. “Are you ready?”
“I don’t think we should have sex because I might be bad at it,” I blurt out because my anxiety is at a ten and I can’t help it.
He doesn’t say a word. He just looks at me with wide eyes as his jaw drops, closes, and then drops again.
Great. I broke him. See, I’m bad at this too.
“I...I...ummm,” he says and then shakes his head, blinking, and returns to me. “Okay, first, I doubt you’re bad. No one kisses like you do and is bad at the rest. So, that’s point one. Point two is that I have no idea where the hell the first part came from. Did I insinuate that you had to have sex with me?”
“No!” I say quickly, feeling like an idiot in a hundred ways. “Chloe asked if I packed protection, which caused me to spiral into wondering if we were going to have sex or if we wanted people to think we did and then...well, I panicked.”
He takes my hands in his and brings them to his lips, dropping kisses against my knuckles. “You don’t have to panic. The only expectation I have for tonight is that you dance with me, and I hope you let me kiss you because I really want to kiss you, Addison, but that’s it.”
“Okay,” I say, my blood pressure starting to come down from panic but rising for another reason. Because he wants to kiss me. Because he’s looking at me like he really wants to kiss me right now. We need to not kiss right now though, because we have to go, and I need to think. So I pull my hands back and let out a deep sigh. “Okay, we better go then.”
He gives me a tight-lipped smile and heads down my driveway. I feel stupid. So freaking stupid.
With each minute that passes, I try to put that blunder behind me and go forward because what other option do I have?
However, the farther we get and the closer to the airport, I find that my internal bravado is all bullshit.
We’re nearing the airport, which now means it’s been almost ten minutes of silence. It’s now or never.
I shift a little and smile. “So, how was your day?”
Grady bursts out laughing and then gains control of himself. “It was good.”
I ignore his reaction and soldier forward. “How so?”
He arranges his features as to attempt to hide his amusement. “I was able to get the horse to cooperate, but the setback isn’t his fault since I haven’t been riding him as much as I need to, I got Jett into school without you and without bribery, and now I’m with you.”
“I’m going to pretend the last part is the best.”
