“No. I’m not sure, but I know that I can’t stay here right now,” Addy says, pulling a shirt from the drawer.
“I understand. It’s all happening so fast.”
Addy gives me a sad smile. “I know. I thought Mom would stay for at least a few more days, but she needs to deal with the insurance.”
“You really don’t think the fact that her store had a fire is related to Isaac and me?” I ask.
“The investigator down there didn’t seem to think so. He said it appears to be the coffee maker that was plugged in, not arson.”
“Just weird,” I say, staring at Elodie. She’s so damn perfect. I may not remember much, but I know I love her already. “It’s going to be really hard losing you, Addy. There’s nothing I could say to make you change your mind?” What was starting off as a week or two is now open-ended.
It feels so selfish to ask, but Addison is not only my sister-in-law but also my friend. I am a little light on friends lately.
“I haven’t slept in almost two weeks. I can’t eat. I cry all the damn time. I went to take Elodie for a walk, just to get out of the house, and I was stopped eight times by people who wanted to tell me a story about Isaac and how sad they were. And don’t even get me started on the letters and the calls.”
Her tears cause my own to form. “I’m so sorry, Addy. I understand, and I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.”
She comes to me, hands framing my face. “Don’t cry. Please. I’m just telling you why I think a few weeks or maybe a month out of here will do me good. I’ll visit with Devney, and it will give me a change of pace and a chance to grieve without the whole town watching me.”
All of that makes sense, but I wish it weren’t necessary. “I love you, you know that, right?”
“And I love you. I think it’ll be good for you too, Brie.”
“For my sister and niece to leave?”
She nods. “You are dealing with so much, and I don’t want to add pressure on you.”
“You’re not. Trust me. I have enough of it on my own.”
Addison looks to Elodie and sighs. “Do you know how hard it is not to tell you everything that I know so that you’ll remembersomething? All I want is for you to give us answers, and that’s not possible. It’s not fair either. My going will allow all of us some time to breathe a little and hopefully heal.”
“I know what you’re saying, and I understand. Really, I do. I’m just being selfish, I guess. I lost my brother, the belief I was with the right guy, my memories, the life I was living, and now you’re leaving. The only thing I have right now is this insane plan to re-walk my life.”
Addy brushes her fingers against Elodie’s cheek. “The one thing I’ve always been so envious of is your ability to make a choice and live by it. I know you feel lost, but trust your instinct because I’ve never seen it lead you astray.”
I look up in Addy’s blue eyes, which are swimming with unshed tears. “I’m going to miss you.”
A tear falls. “I’m going to miss you too, but I won’t be gone long. I don’t think I can stay away from Rose Canyon. As hard as it is to be here, it’ll be just as bad being away. Isaac has been my life since I was seventeen. I . . . don’t know that I can ever really stay away.”
On one level, I knew she would be back and this wasn’t permanent, but I still feel marginally better. However, like Spencer said, this isn’t about what I want, it’s about what she needs.
“I hope that, when you do come back, you’ll feel better.”
“And all I want is for you to get better—and not just so we’ll know what happened. I want you to remember because before everything went sideways, you were happy. I want you to find that again, so if something or someone doesn’t feel right to you, try to remember what I said about your instinct, okay?”
“So, I take it you’re not a fan of Henry?”
“I never was.”
“No, but . . . you didn’t really voice it.”
Addison laughs without humor. “You got enough of that from your mother. I didn’t need to add fuel to that fire.”
“I have this feeling that we’re not together. I keep wondering, why would I still put up with this? Why was there no trace of him in my apartment? If we were still dating, there’d be something of his, right?”
Addison gives me a face that basically answers the questions before she shrugs. “Did you want to find something of his there?”
“After he didn’t come to the funeral . . . no.”