Page 5 of Could Have Been Us
Grayson: Are you coming? Pizza is here.
Me: You bet.
Tonight, however, is not a night to make any other choice other than how much pizza to consume.
I grab my purse and head out. The drive to his house takes about five minutes. When I was looking for my own place, I knew I wanted to be close to my other brothers. I don’t understand why, but Grayson is my favorite sibling.
Mostly because he has Amelia, the most precious little girl who I love with my whole heart.
“Auntie!” Amelia yells and runs to me as I exit the car.
While I may not have my own daughter to hold and love, I have her. No one but Jack will ever understand how much Amelia coming into my life saved me, and I do whatever I can to help my brother with her.
“Look at you,” I say as she stops in front of me. “You grew.”
“No, I’m the same size.”
“Well, you look bigger.”
Melia smiles brightly. “Then maybe I am.”
Grayson comes out, carrying her doll and looking haggard. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself. You look like crap,” I tell him.
“Gee, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
He rolls his eyes. “Pizza is here, and I’m starving.”
“Aww, you waited for me,” I tease him.
Amelia tugs on my hand. “I made him.”
“Which is why you’re my favorite Parkerson.”
“I’m everyone’s favorite,” she informs us.
Grayson scoops her up and lifts her above his head. “You’re a monster. That’s what you are.”
I smile at the effortless love the two of them share. My brother hasn’t had it easy with Melia. Yvonne and he had plans. They were going to get married, raise their daughter, and my brother would’ve been miserable. However, when Amelia was two weeks old, Yvonne brought her and all her belongings to Grayson and then left.
While I grapple with the idea of being anything like her, I, at least, care. Yvonne wasn’t a kid. She was a grown woman and walked away, never looking back.
I follow them and hear a booming laugh from inside the house.
Immediately, my body tenses. I feel the tingles of each nerve ending lighting up, knowing whose laugh that is.
Usually, I’m able to control myself. To push aside the feelings that haven’t subsided in over twelve years. You’d think I’d be a master at it. That I could get over this childhood love because, surely, it can’t be a real thing anymore, but here I am, trembling inside.
“Are you the monster or the food?” Jack asks as Grayson and Amelia enter the living room in front of me.
Amelia laughs. “I’m the food. Daddy is the monster.”
Don’t think about it. Do not let yourself imagine a life that never could be.
“Do you need saving, my precious?” Jack asks as he approaches them.
