Page 101 of Stay for Me
“First of all, no one will ever replace Luke. That’s not how it works. Luke will always be Melanie and Sebastian’s father. He will always be a man I loved and raised a family with. Whatever man I choose to love going forward will not be a placeholder for the husband I lost. Secondly, Jacob is a good man. He’s been wonderful to the kids and me. How many Hollywood stars would volunteer to direct a play for a bunch of kids? None, so I’m not sure what you think Luke would’ve been disappointed over.”
Her hand flies to her throat, and she huffs. “It’s too soon!”
“That’s not for you to say.”
“It’s barely a year, Brenna! How can you be over the loss of him?”
The angry woman inside me wants to lash out so badly, to cut her down and tell her it isn’t her place to tell me how to live, but that’s not who I am. She’s angry at me because she’s in pain still. I know this, and while it would be easy to go back at her, to argue and fight, it wouldn’t be right. Still, her not being ready to let him go isn’t my cross to carry.
I sit on the bed and wait a few seconds. When I speak, it’s soft and understanding. “I’ll never be over losing Luke.”
She tosses down the shirt, anger still radiating from her. “Yet, you’re carrying on, doing God knows what with that man, in the town where mysonis from.”
“Do you want me to be alone for the rest of my life?”
That question seems to shock her. “Of course not! But why so soon?”
“It wouldn’t matter if it was six months from now,” I tell her. “It wouldn’t matter when or who or what town we lived in, it would feel this way.”
“I don’t need therapy.”
I smile. “Maybe not, but we’re still grieving regardless if we’re talking about it. We’re growing, healing, and learning each day. Loss and grief are terrible, and the stages are what they are regardless of if you’re in therapy or not. I loved Luke. I will always love Luke. He was a wonderful husband and father. He’s gone, though, and I’m not. I want to love again. I want to have someone to share my life with.”
She takes my hand in hers. “I don’t want you to be alone, Brenna. I’m just . . .”
“You’re not ready for me to be ready yet.”
The long breath she releases sounds a bit like a balloon deflating. She’s no longer angry or filled with rage. Now it’s sadness that’s speaking. “No, I’m not.”
“Jacob and I aren’t . . . well, we’re just friends.”
“You don’t have to lie to me, sweetheart. I see what’s going on just as clearly as the rest of the town does.”
“I promise that there is nothing more than what it is here.”
Her soft, wrinkly hand palms my cheek. “That may be what you’re telling yourselves, but, as you pointed out, what man directs a play for kids?”
“It was for Sebastian.”
Sylvia rolls her eyes with a chuckle. “You’re a fool, my sweet girl.”
“I’ve been called that before.”
She sits beside me, hand resting on my arm. “I may be an old lady and you may be a fancy head doctor, but let me give you a little piece of advice. Men don’t do all that for a little kid. Sure, maybe in the beginning it was that, but I see the truth. He took you to the carnival, that barbeque at their house, and then I heard all about your movie night in the rain. You may be friends, but your heart wants more.”
“Where have you heard all that?”
Her hand waves as she laughs. “It wasn’t from my grandkids, if that’s what you’re wondering. Those two have been tight-lipped and are the best secret keepers I’ve ever met.”
I realize that we’ve been really bad with keeping this under wraps. If Sylvia heard all this from anyone other than the kids, everyone must know.
And from what Sylvia is saying, she sees the truth of my feelings too.
“Great. So, everyone knows the town psychologist is an idiot.”
“Why are you an idiot?” I look up, knowing the truth is written all over my face. “Ahh, I see. I was right about your heart.”
“And I was right about being an idiot.”
