Page 126 of The One for Me
He glares at Devney, but all I see is a reflection of the scared kid I used to be. “No! I hate it. I hate that I can’t go home. I can’t play baseball. I can’t doanything! I don’t want to go back to school and tell everyone how my dad and mom were killed. I don’t want to talk about the accident. No one here knows. I’m happy here, and I don’t cry.”
“Right now, you have limits,” I say gently. “Whenever we get hurt, we have to heal. You’ve been doing great, and next week, you go to crutches. After that, you’ll walk again. After that, you’ll run. It’s about taking steps, and the same goes for when you deal with grief.”
A tear falls down his face as he gets himself into his chair. “I just want to go to bed.”
Devney releases a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, buddy. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be able to take your pain away.”
He looks over at her as he pushes himself away. “You could let us stay here, but you won’t.”
She goes to get up, but I grab her hand.
“Let him go.”
“He’s so angry. I’ve never seen him like that.”
I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. “He’s going to be angry. He has every right to be angry.”
Her head rests on my shoulder. “I wanted to say yes. I wanted to tell him we would stay here forever and make it work.”
My muscles tense because I know there’s a but coming. “And?”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
She sits up and moves back a little, but she doesn’t retreat too far before she’s twisting her fingers through mine. “Can’t. God, I want to. If it were just me, I’d pay someone to pack my shit and mail it to me, but it’s not just me. Austin might be angry, but think back, Sean. What would you have done if your father had packed you boys and made you leave?”
“Was he coming with?”
She shakes her head. “My point is that you needed me. Declan needed Sydney. Connor needed you and Jacob. Jacob needed to be in Sugarloaf. It was the only place he felt like he had your mother. That farm was your savior as much as it was your hell.”
My hell had nothing to do with the farm and everything to do with the devil who was left to raise me.
“The fuck it was. I hated that town. If I had the chance to take you with me, I would’ve gone anywhere to escape. You’re not protecting him by forcing him to stay there to be closer to Jasper and Hazel.”
Her breath comes out in a huff as she gets to her feet. “You think I want this? That I want to let go of the man I love more than anything? None of this was supposed to happen. I was finally getting my chance at love. We were . . . God, I was going with you. A month ago, it wasn’t a question that I was going to be sitting next to you on the flight here. I would’ve figured everything out, but it’s all changed now! I have Austin to think about.”
“And what about what he wants?”
“He’s ten! Of course he wants to be with you! Who wouldn’t? You’re amazing, funny, sweet, fantastic in every damn way, and you play baseball. You’re the dream, Sean. You are what women pray for.”
“Yet, you’re ready to wake up? You don’t have to have me as a dream, Devney. I’m the reality, and I’m willing to give you everything.”
Her head falls back as she looks to the ceiling. “I can’t do this.”
Then she stands and walks away, going back into the bedroom. I didn’t want to fight, but I can’t let this drop. We have to have this out. All of it needs to be on the table so we can work through it. Giving up now seems so stupid.
I follow her, closing the door behind me. “We need to finish this talk. You can’t just walk away like that.”
“Nothing is going to change, Sean! I’m still going back to Sugarloaf. I’m not coming here. I can’t do it!”
“Why?”
“Because!”
I step closer. “Why, Devney? What are you so afraid of?”
“You!” she yells and throws her hands up. “I’m terrified of coming here and what happens next.”
