Page 127 of The One for Me
“We’ll figure it out!”
Her head falls back, and she groans. “It’s just so easy for you, isn’t it? What about me, Sean? What do I do?”
None of her questions make sense. “What does that even mean?”
“It means I move here, take Austin away from the only family he’s ever known, and what? How do we adjust to everything? I can’t handle all of this change in one freaking month. You’re asking me to come here and flip our lives upside down.”
This is such bullshit. “Your life is already upside down! I’m here, willing to help you find a new center. I’m asking you to move in with me andmarryme! I want it all, Devney, and I want it with you. I’m not trying to make it harder! I’m trying to make it easier. I can give you everything you want, but you won’t fucking take it.”
She jerks back as though she’s been struck. “What did you say?”
“I want it all. I want you, and I want Austin. I love that kid. I would never do anything to hurt him.”
“Before that.”
“What?”
Her breathing is rapid as she moves toward me. “You said you want me to move in with you and . . .”
I don’t hesitate. “Marry me.”
“You have to be joking, right? You didn’t just fight propose to me. That is not . . . you’re angry or scared.”
It came out, and I wasn’t thinking, but it’s the truth. I want her to be my wife. I want us to build a life and a family together. It just wasn’t how I meant to say it. Still, I won’t lie. I can’t hold back, not if she’s determined to walk away from us. “No, I’m both of those things, but this wasn’t just something that magically came to me. I want to marry you. I think I’ve known it my whole life, but I refused to even consider it. This wasn’t just a six-month thing for either of us, this was forever. You don’t walk away from the person you’re meant to spend your life with. I want to marry you, and I’ll get down on my knee right now if that’s what it takes.”
She steps back, but I move with her, not allowing distance. “I don’t want you to marry me because you’re afraid of losing me.”
“If you think that’s why, you haven’t been paying attention.” I head toward her, eyes locked on her as they ask a million questions. “I want to marry you because I love you more than any man has ever loved another woman. I want to marry you because I want to wake up each day with you beside me. I would make you happy, give you the world. I’ll stand by your side when you falter and when you win. There won’t be a day that you’re alone because I will always be here.”
“You say that, but your job takes you away more than three-quarters of the year. I’ll be down here alone with Austin while you’re flying all over the country playing baseball. Don’t you get it? I need help and my family more than ever. My parents, Syd, Ellie, your brothers are all there, but you won’t be. You’re asking me to give up everything for you, and what do you lose? Nothing.”
Deep down, in the depth of my soul, I know she’s right. I am asking her to come here, and then, the season will start. I’ll train for ten hours a day, then preseason starts. When it’s the actual season . . . I’m gone all the time. Life won’t be easy with me, I know this, but she is only seeing what she will be giving up and is blind to everything she’ll be gaining.
Many major league guys have families. They make it work, just like we can.
“There is sacrifice in every relationship, Dev. We all have to adjust, but I’m not asking you to give up a damn thing,” I say through gritted teeth. “I want to give to you.”
Devney huffs and steps back. This time, I let her. “You think that, and it just shows how you’re not seeing this picture the way that I am.”
“Yes, I’m delusional because I love you and Austin.”
“No, I love Austin. I have loved that baby since the minute he was born. I loved him so much that I gave him up. I gave him a home with parents who could do better than I ever could.” Tears fall down her cheeks, and a sob wretches from her throat. “I had to give him up when he was an infant, and I don’t have to now. I’m not going to make a choice that will only hurt him.”
“And how is lying to him the best option?”
I know I’m hitting low, but if this is my last chance to say it all, then I’m going to swing for the fences and pray I make it over.
“What did you just say?”
“You’re lying to him. He is yourson, Devney.”
“I’m well aware of what he is to me.”
“Well, then why aren’t you taking his wants into consideration. He doesn’t know the full story, and he’s lost because he thinks he lost his mother when he hasn’t.”
“He has lost his mother.” Her voice is low and full of rage. “He lost the only mother he’s ever known. I might have given birth to him, but I’ve always known my place in his life. Don’t you dare try to use that against me.”
She’s right. I’m being a complete ass. “I’m sorry.” I move to her, wanting to take it all back. “I’m just . . . I can’t lose you, but it feels like you’ve already given up, that you aren’t even willing to try. How can you not be falling apart at the idea of us ending? How is this so fucking easy for you?”
