Page 42 of Infinite
I nod. “Wait until you see it from the bedroom upstairs.”
Her eyes study mine before she turns them back out at the sea. I can’t resist the urge to hold her. I move toward her and stand so her back is to my front.
All she has to do is lean back, fall a little, and she’ll see that I’ll catch her.
I wait, trying to be as patient as I can.
I feel the tension rolling off her, and instead of doing what I silently beg, she turns. Her blue eyes are soft as her hands lift tentatively and then rest on my chest.
My heart is beating so hard as I let her lead this. The last time I kissed her, I was the one pushing, this time, I’m stepping back, but it doesn’t mean all the way.
“Tell me what you need, and it’s yours,” I offer her the opening.
I watch her retreat back into her head. Before she can answer, her phone rings.
“It’s Clara,” she says.
I walk outside, giving her some privacy, and stare at the sea. I loved coming here as a kid. It was a place where everything made sense. There were no rules other than come check in when the lifeguards left. All of it was so easy. Nothing like it is today for me.
There is no joy, though. In place of it, there’s a pit in the bottom of my stomach. I want to push it back, but I’ve been trained to rely on my senses. Sometimes, I think she’s afraid of me. That she’s convinced herself of something and won’t see any other options.
Ashton talks about me leaving or realizing how damaged she is.
Does she truly believe that we’re not all broken? All we can do is hold the pieces together as tight as we can and pray the cracks don’t grow.
After about fifteen minutes, Ashton comes out. “You okay?”
“I’m . . . not sure.”
Worry starts to seep through. Did she take some test before we left and didn’t tell me? Maybe there was something with the job she didn’t mention? With everything that has happened over the last few months, it could be anything.
I’m not worried about finances. After growing up with relatively no money, I refused to be careless with money and have saved everything. While other team guys were buying trucks and shit with their bonuses, I was banking it.
There have only been two big purchases I’ve made: my truck and the engagement ring for Ashton. Otherwise, it’s been accumulating and invested. So, if she lost her job, we’re just fine.
“What did she say?”
Ashton sighs and looks away. “They need help.”
“Who needs help?”
Her eyes meet mine. “A clinic in Virginia Beach. Their embryologist quit, and they’ve been unable to find anyone to run the lab. Apparently, Clara said it’s a dire situation because they’re losing viable eggs.”
I’m not sure what to say or really what any of it means, but it sounds like this is a chance for her to do something again. I know she doesn’t want to work in IVF anymore, and to some extent, I get it, but I want her to have something that fulfills her.
“Did you give her an answer?”
“I’m not doing it.”
“I didn’t think you would.” I decide to push back on her a little. The only time she is real is when she’s angry.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“Just what I said. I didn’t think you’d do it. I know you’re done helping other people have kids.”
Ashton’s lips part as she rears back. “No, I didn’t say that. I don’t want to make babies anymore. It’s not about helping people.”
I put my hands up as though I wasn’t trying to provoke her. “Hey, no need to explain it to me. I wouldn’t want you to do anything that might hurt you.”
