Page 21 of Cross Checks

Holding him against me, I thought about how quickly a strong connection had formed between us. It was much more than just physical. We connected on an emotional level, too.

While I looked at Chase, I thought about our future. We could face so many unknowns and potential challenges, but at the moment, none of that mattered to me. All I needed to think about was letting my man inside while he slowly stole my heart.

Whispering promises into the air, I vowed to always be there for him. I would support and cherish him as long as he remained in my arms. I would help him navigate the complexities of life from the hockey rink to Lou’s downtown.

I grinned when a soft sigh escaped Chase’s lips. It was like he heard my silent declarations.

While I continued to watch over him, a gentle peace settled over me, too. With him in my arms, I felt like I could conquer the world. That thought stayed with me as I drifted to sleep, too. We were one, and I hoped to stay like that forever.

Chapter7

Chase

After our final practice before Thanksgiving, still wrestling with my fears about coming out, I decided to seek out Assistant Coach Hoss for a chat. I knew he had a long journey toward accepting his sexuality as part of his recovery after a career-ending injury, but I’d never heard any of the details. I found him organizing equipment, his back to me, as I approached.

"Coach Hoss, got a minute?" I asked, my voice wavering slightly, signifying my inner turmoil.

He turned and smiled. "Sure thing, Taylor. What's on your mind?"

I hesitated for a moment before diving in. “I…I’m in a relationship.”

“Well, good for you. Congratulations. Who’s the lucky woman?”

I shook my head. “No, no, I’m sorry. I should have explained. I’m in a relationship with a guy, but nobody on the team knows. It’s the firefighter who dragged me out of that fire in our locker room.”

His eyes opened wide, and I braced myself for wild comments. Instead, he was calm when he spoke. “Now, that will probably always be the best story about meeting when the topic comes up at cocktail parties.”

I chuckled softly. “Yeah, I guess so, but the reason I wanted to talk to you is I’m not sure how to handle coming out. I suppose I have to eventually, at least to the team. That’s only fair. I thought you might have some insight from your own experience.”

Coach Hoss led me to a quiet spot in the Portland stands. He sat wide, his posture relaxed, but his eyes were sharp and attentive.

“So, you’re here to dig into my sordid past, huh?” His tone was light and playful. He grinned and crossed his arms.

“I guess I am,” I replied, “but if I’m being too nosy, let me know. I just thought with your injury, rehab, and then telling everybody you’re gay, there’s probably a lot to learn from you.”

Hoss nodded. “Yeah, I get it. I scored the trifecta in personal soap opera. Where should I begin?”

“Maybe rehab?” I suggested. “I heard that was a little rough.”

“You could say that,” he chuckled. “I got wiped out by the injury. I’d always been the tough guy on the ice, and suddenly, I’d been knocked out of the game. They put me through all sorts of therapy—physical and occupational, but it couldn’t hide the truth. My years as an active player were over.”

“Wow, that does sound rough.”

“The worst part of it was all the brainless TV.” He grinned.

“Makes you wonder who watches it.”

“Yeah, well, there must be some audience. Anyway, I’ll spare you the gory details of my downward spiral with alcohol and drugs. Instead, let’s skip to that coming out part.”

I smiled at my coach. He always made me feel like I was talking to a wise guru. “Yes, do that. It sounds perfect.”

“Well, one day, when I was watching one of those bad soap operas and seeing all those characters with their secret lives and the drama connected to it, I realized I was living a soap opera of my own.”

I turned to face him. “Wow, I assume your secret life was being gay?”

“You catch on quick, Taylor. Yeah, I’d been hiding it for years. I’ve been to gay bars all across the U.S. and Canada. They were a secret stop for me when traveling to away games.”

“It sounds a little lonely, too,” I observed.

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