He nodded. “It’s about my past. There's something I haven't told her yet. You probably don’t know either. I don't know how or even if I should bring it up."
He had my full attention, and I leaned in. "What the hell is it? You can tell me; you know that."
Jensen hesitated a little more before he finally let out a huge sigh. “About five years back, I was in a relationship in my first season on the Cougars. It was with a guy."
The revelation caught me off guard. I had no clue that Jensen was bisexual. I fought to keep a neutral expression. "Oh? You’re right. That's part of your life I didn't know about."
"Yeah, it's not something I talk about much. It was a good relationship, but it ended badly. I haven't been with a guy since, but it's still a part of who I am. A cute guy can turn my head when I’m not dating. I’m just worried about how Beth will react if she finds out."
I nodded, understanding his dilemma. “Revealing parts of ourselves can be tough when we don’t know how others will take it. Still, if you really like her, she deserves to know the real you, right?”
Jensen looked at me. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just don’t want to lose her over something that is done and in the past.”
“If she’s the right one, she’ll accept all of you. Better to find out now than down the road when the guy reappears or something.”
Jensen chuckled softly. “He moved to Japan.”
“Stranger things have happened. Just remember, your past doesn’t change who you are now.”
“Thanks, buddy. I needed to hear that. I wish I could stick around, but I’ve got all these dumb little things to do at home. I’ll catch you at practice tomorrow.”
Left alone with my beer, I had to deal with my own issues rushing back into my head. Jensen wasn’t letting being bisexual phase him. Why was it bothering me?
As I finished my drink, I was left more confused than ever. Did I know myself well enough to understand whether Hank could make me happy long term? Did I need to worry about having my head turned by a woman in the future?
Hank’s kind eyes and warm smile came flooding back into my thoughts. Our connection felt so profound, and his chest, I wanted to bury my face in it forever. Maybe I just needed to jump. It sounded scary.
When I left the bar and stepped out into the cool evening air, I gazed up at the stars starting to appear as the sky grew dark. With a heavy heart, I climbed into my car.
As I drove through the familiar streets, I thought about Hank. We had an undeniable connection more profound than a physical attraction.
I’d always pictured a pretty specific kind of future for myself. It involved a wife and probably a kid or two. But now, as I thought about Hank, the picture was entirely different. Was I ready for that kind of disruption? Was it terrifying or liberating? Or both?
When I pulled up to the curb in front of my apartment, the second floor of an old Victorian house, I sat for a moment with the engine idling. I thought about calling Hank to hear his voice again, but I hesitated. Perhaps I needed more time to think.
As I stepped up to the house, the porch creaked. It was a familiar greeting.
My keys jingled in my hand while I unlocked the front door. I lumbered up the narrow staircase until I reached the entrance to my home.
The apartment was a comfortable blend of aged charm and modern life. The hardwood floors, still original to the house, were polished to a rich shine.
In the living room, a well-worn upholstered sofa sat against one wall. On the opposite, built-in bookshelves held memorabilia from my hockey career—photos, trophies, and ticket stubs from last year’s championship game.
With a sigh, I closed the door behind me. I’d shut out the world for the rest of the evening. My apartment was my refuge on most days. Unfortunately, it had no way of protecting me from my own thoughts.
After grabbing a few snacks and a bottle of water from the kitchen, I sat on the edge of my bed, my phone in hand, staring at the contact list. It was time to call up reinforcements to help me get over my emotional hump. I tapped my big sister Jane’s name. She lived a couple of hours away in Boston.
“Chase! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Her voice was its usual blend of energy and warmth.
“Hey. I needed someone to talk to, and few are better at that than my big sis.”
“Aww, is everything okay?” I heard concern in her voice. She could always sense when something was up with me.
“It’s a little complicated. You got a minute?”
“For my little brother? Of course I do. Go ahead.”
While we started to talk, I kicked off my shoes and pushed myself up against the headboard. I put the call on speaker and took a swig of water.