Page 31 of The Reality of Wanting Him

“Come in.”

“Hey, sorry if you wanted to be alone, I was just wondering if you’d want to come to the gym with me,” I ask, flashing him my best smile.

“Like to workout?”

“That is typically what people do in a gym.”

“Uh, sure. I don’t think I’ve been to a gym since college,” he says, almost to himself with how quiet he is.

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“There’s no way you look likethatwithout a gym,” I insist, gesturing to the massive arms and chest that are filling out his T-shirt. He doesn’t have a flannel on over it right now, so his muscles are on full display.And they’re sexy as hell.

“Working on a farm isn’t exactly easy,” he explains. I justgive him a skeptical look in return. If he’s really bigger than me from only his farm work, I’m seriously questioning what running a farm actually involves. I was wrong about all of the assumptions I’d made about LM being a girl, but surely collecting eggs from chickens wouldn’t make you look likethat?

“Okay, while we workout I’m going to need you to tell me more about what you do on this farm to be inthatgood of shape,” I say, waving my arm up and down in his direction, making him laugh. I like that I can do that, especially when he drops all his concern about me never having been with a guy before and can just enjoy himself. The moments he seems to give in to how much fun we have together are my new favorite things. That’s how it was during our blind dates, and I know that’s how it can be again once we embrace this relationship.

I sent a message to the producers earlier to see about using the gym and they confirmed it was free for us to use whenever we want now that we’ve met our partners. No one else is in the gym when we arrive, but we’ll meet all the other contestants tomorrow for a group event that’s planned. It will be interesting to meet some of the other people I talked to—if they’re still here—and see who they ended up with.

Liam confidently approaches the equipment. I watch him as he sets up the weights, so obviously he’s been in a gym before, even if it really was almost ten years ago. “Wait, how old are you?” I ask when I realize we haven’t covered that yet.

“Twenty-eight. You?”

“Twenty-nine. I’ll be thirty a month after the show ends.”

“Couldn’t bear the idea of entering another decade without a partner?” he teases, not knowing how close he is to the truth.

“Something like that,” I mutter. As much as I want to be completely honest with him—and I’ve debated telling him the truth about my parents’ ultimatum a hundred times now—I just can’t. Not yet, anyway. Things still feel too shaky between us right now, and I want our relationship to be solid first. I’m scaredif I tell him all that, he’s going to assume I’m only with him for the money. But the truth is, I really don’t want to lose him. Sure, I did join this show for the money, but the more I talked to Liam throughout the dating portion, the less I cared about the ultimatum. Money isn’t the only thing I want anymore.

When I met him yesterday and discovered he was, in fact,nota woman, the money obviously crossed my mind. But I’m secure enough to admit that I’m more than a little curious about what being with Liam physically would be like. I wanted to kiss him earlier, and I definitely enjoyed my dream about him. He’s different from the soft curves I’m used to, but his hard body seems to really be doing it for me. My reaction to him wasn’t meaningless.

And I honestly don’t care about his gender.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my sexuality over the last twenty-four hours, and I think I can easily admit that I’m less straight than I had assumed going into this show, and that doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve never given a fuck about who people choose to be with. I truly don’t know why anyone cares.I’m pretty sure that I already came out to the world last night by begging a man to date me on reality TV.

It’s cool I won’t have to stress about doing it later.Win-win if you ask me.

I really would like to confirm my new suspicions though. As I eye Liam working out, I’m glad I get to explore things with not only someone that I already care so much about, but that he’s such a good-looking man as well. He’s the kind of guy I might see at the gym and ask about his diet or workout plan because I’m jealous of how hot he is.But maybe a part of me was always attracted to those guys and I just didn’t understand my feelings of admiration.

And Liam’s beard?I’ve always been obsessed with beards. But my light blond hair always comes in patchy when I attemptto grow it out, so I’ve never been able to have one.Do I actually want one, though, or am I attracted to guys with beards?

I try to focus on my own workout, but my brain keeps circling back to Liam—and all the questions I suddenly have about what I thought I knew when it came to guys. Then he lifts up his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face before seeming to give up on the idea and removing the shirt entirely.Holy shit.How does he have actual abs if he doesn’t even go to the gym? And the prominent V of his hips draws all my attention to his dick with a dusting of dark hair… has that always been so fucking hot? The urge to run my hand over his abs is so strong. “What the hell do you have to do on a farm to look like that?” I ask, trying to keep the mood light as I openly check him out while I set up one of the weight machines.

He laughs. “Well, I pretty much never stop moving. There’s a lot of carrying around feed and equipment, fixing things as they wear out. We don’t have the money for the newer equipment that can automate things, so I do a lot of the planting and harvesting myself.”

I nod, realizing my vision of a farm has always been about a slow, easygoing life with some guy in overalls sitting on a tractor. “Huh, yeah, that does sound harder than what I was picturing. Maybe I can help when we go. I can't wait to see it.”

Liam’s head snaps in my direction with wide-eyed confusion again. “Go where?”

“To your farm?”

“You’re coming to my farm?”

Why is he acting like he didn’t know this?

I let out a short laugh. I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. “Obviously. We’ll be there next week for the hometown visits for the show, and I assume that’s where we’ll live when we’re married. I know how much you love it there.”

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