Page 32 of The Reality of Wanting Him

His shocked expression is comical.

“I guess with everything that happened yesterday, I haven’t really thought past our next few days,” he admits.

That stings a little. I don’t know if I should be offended by how uninvested he seems in our relationship, but I’m not wasting time on hurt feelings. I need to focus on finding a way to show him that there’s a reason we picked each other. That just because I was expecting LM to be a woman, that doesn’t mean I’m not happy to be doing thiswith him. I just need to convince him I can handle being with a man.And prove it to myself.

“Well, I’m excited,” I assure him, and I mean it. I want to go. I want to meet his dad, see the farm, catch a glimpse of what his day-to-day life is like.

“Oh yeah?” he says, raising an eyebrow. “You sure you’re ready for farm living? It's early mornings and hard work, there’s no staff to help you with chores and no one around to cook for you, rich boy.”

“But you’ll be there,” I say, grinning. “You can cook for me.”

He barks a laugh as I bat my eyelashes at him. “And what will you be doing while I do all the farm work, chores, and cooking?”

“Playing with the animals, eye candy, moral support, comedic relief?” I suggest. Liam just shakes his head, but he can’t hide his smile.I’m totally winning him over.

We spend the next hour comparing his tiny town to my life in the city. He tries to convince me that waking up at sunrise to work is “fun,” and I try to convince him that a twenty-dollar oat milk latte from my favorite swanky coffee bar is worth it. We’re laughing the whole time, and every time our eyes meet or I earn a laugh from him, that fluttering in my stomach intensifies, and my heart races a little faster.

Later, back in the apartment, we take turns showering, and I’m excited to find the producers dropped off more puzzles. I start working on one at the breakfast bar so we can talk as Liam cooks, and after lunch, he joins me working on it. I hope I’m notthe only one feeling the tension between us as our arms occasionally touch, reaching for pieces.He has to be as aware of me as I am of him, right?We’re not doing anything special or extravagant, but I’m really enjoying our time together.I hope he is too.

I lose track of time puzzling, and when we finish, it’s already time for dinner. “Can we do an in-person cooking lesson?” I ask, coming up beside him while he starts to pull out ingredients.

“Yeah, maybe you will be able to cook something for me soon,” he teases.

“Eh, I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” I wink, and this time I get to see when his cheeks darken.Yup, I definitely like that.Without really considering what I’m doing I brush my fingers over the blush and his breath hitches.

“You always blush this easily?” I murmur. “Or is it just when you’re around me?”

He swallows, but doesn’t move away. “I-I think it might be you.”

My hand lingers a second longer than it probably should. “Good.”

We’ve been flirting, and the tension between us has been building since we met, but I don’t know how to take that next step forward. I’m too nervous, too in my head about it being my first time with a man, but I want to. I want more.

“What are you doing?” His voice is breathy and his wide eyes are locked on mine.

I let my fingers linger for just a second longer before letting them fall away, but I don’t move back. “I was thinking that it’s cute how your cheeks get so red from a simple wink. And I was wondering how you’d react if I kissed you.”

His lips part slightly like he’s about to say something, but then a slow smirk spreads across his face, completely replacing his previously shy expression. There’s a newfound confidence there and a glint of something wicked in his eyes that I haven’tseen yet, but it makes my pulse pick up even more. I think I like it.

“Fuck it. You want me to kiss you, straight boy?” he taunts, voice dripping with amusement.

Now I think I’m the one blushing. I give a slight nod as I hold his gaze.

As soon as I give him permission, he steps closer. His breath fans over my lips, and for a second, we just hover there. Close enough to feel it, to want it.

He closes the distance, and when his mouth finally meets mine, I’m surprised by how soft his lips are.

As confident as I was pretending to be, I feel like I’m frozen in place. I’m usually the one initiating things with my partners, but not now, and I kind of love it. He’s cupping my jaw and tilting my face to deepen the kiss, and my brain feels like it’s completely short-circuiting.Why have I never kissed a man before? I’m definitely into it.

I gasp, completely unprepared for how good his beard rubbing against my skin feels. He takes full advantage, slipping his tongue past my parted lips, licking into my mouth with a confidence that makes my knees feel unsteady. Without permission, a soft moan escapes my throat, and that finally snaps me into focus. I grab his hips and lean in more.

That must be all the encouragement he needs, because the next thing I know, he’s spinning us, pressing me back against the counter, our mouths never separating.

My entire body melts into him. It’s a visceral reaction. His tongue moves against mine, and I give into him willingly, loving this display of dominance. I’ve never been kissed like this before. Never had someone take over like they physically couldn’t hold back, like they couldn’t help themselves.

It’s so fucking hot.

And more than that, it feels like proof that he hasn’tcompletely dismissed the future I’m still hoping for with him, that hewants me.

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