Page 26 of The Reality of Wanting Him

One bed.

Onequeen-sizedbed.

For two guys over six feet tall.

“Guess we’re getting cozy,” Blake says with a laugh.

I turn to look at him, waiting for some kind of freak out or acknowledgment that this is a problem for him. But nope. ’Course not. He’s just grinning at me like he can’t wait to cuddle up together. Or maybe it’s for the cameras.This is so fucking confusing.

15

BLAKE

Producer:In past relationships, do you jump right in with physical affection, or wait and build up to it slowly?

Blake:Most of my past relationships have started physically. Can’t say many have progressed beyond that…

“Ican sleep on the couch if you actually want to stay tonight,” Liam offers, and I get why he’s hesitant. I really should have tried to keep my reaction to him being a guy more to myself. I just assumed he’d be a woman because that’s who I’ve dated in the past.But none of those relationships lasted more than a month… hmm.Maybe this will be better.The thought of him spending the night on the couch doesn’t sit right with me, though.

If we’re trying to figure out if we can be in a relationship—and not just that, but bemarried—by the end of the month, I’m going to need to get over the fact that I’ve never been with a man and do it quickly. We already have a connection, and what I feel for him is real. It’s the strongest connection I’ve ever had with another person. The best way to do that is to not tiptoe aroundeach other. I need to prove to him I’m still committed because all I’ve wanted as of recently is to have a real connection with someone—and he’s it. I’m going to treat Liam like I would anyone else I was dating. I’m not concerned about us sleeping together.

Okay, real talk, I’m alittleconcerned about the sex “sleeping together” aspect of things.But just sleeping? Chad and I have fallen asleep in the same bed before and it was no big deal. Plus, being that close all night can only help us become more comfortable together.

“Nah, fuck that. Sleep in here, we can share the bed,” I assure him. Then I shut the door to make sure we’re alone. When they had us pack, the producers mentioned the new apartment won’t have cameras in the bedroom to give us privacy. They asked us to spend as much time as we could hanging out in the main living spaces so that the show could still get footage of the relationships building, but they’re not trying to filmthatkind of content.

“If you’re sure?” Liam asks slowly, sounding wholly unconvinced.

“I’m sure! Plus, I think it will be good for us to have a camera-free space together, right?” I offer what I hope is an encouraging smile his way, but he’s looking at me like I have two heads.

“So there’s nothing else you want to say to me, now that there aren’t cameras?” he asks, looking like he’s expecting me to add something.

“I’m sorry again. My reaction really was nothing personal, you’re a good-looking guy, you have to know that,” I say, gesturing toward him.

He’s still looking at me like I have two heads. “And you really want to sleep together?”

“Come on, it’s just a bed. It’ll be great. What side do you prefer?”

“I’ll take this one,” he says, sitting on the edge closer to the door. “I usually sleep in my underwear, would you rather I wear sweats or a T-shirt?” he asks, still sounding confused that I’m not requesting separate sleeping arrangements or building a pillow wall in the middle of the bed.

“I don’t care what you wear. I usually sleep naked, but I’m assuming you don't want me to do that,” I tease as I plug my phone charger in on my side of our bed. He isn’t looking my way, but the tips of his ears are red, so I think he might be blushing. The thought of Liam blushing because he’s picturing my naked body makes me smile.I definitely don’t hate it. I kind of want to tease him some more, but I don’t want to push my luck.

I wonder whathelooks like naked?

“Yeah, probably best that you don’t,” he mutters. “I’m going to shower before bed, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” He grabs some of his stuff before heading into the en suite, and I unpack my suitcase, leaving him plenty of room for his things.I’m already such a good boyfriend.I really have to piss by the time I’m done, so I grab my toothbrush and head into the bathroom.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Liam yells when I open the door.

“Uh, I was going to pee and brush my teeth?” I say, meaning to answer confidently, but it ends up coming out like a question.

“While I’m in the shower?”

Shit, he sounds mad.How do I keep fucking this up?Maybe I’m not such a great boyfriend after all.

“Um, yeah. Is that not okay?” I ask, genuinely confused. “We’re both guys, it's not anything we haven't seen before. I honestly didn’t think anything of coming in,” I explain. The shower even has a frosted door—not that I knew that coming in here—so it's not like I can see more than the blur of him.

“Well, I would prefer some privacy while I’m in the bathroom. Thanks,” he spits out.

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