Page 65 of The Reality of Wanting Him

Producer:It’s your wedding day. What’s going through your mind right now?

Liam:I think I’m still trying to process that this is real and it’s happening. A few months ago, I didn’t ever think I’d be on a show like this, and I definitely didn’t think I’d be getting married to a man I fell for without seeing his face. But here we are. I just want to get to the part where he’s mine and I’m his.

Today is surreal. I haven’t seen some of my college friends in years, and to have them drop everything to come stand by my side on such short notice makes me realize that even though I might not see them as often as I’d like, I’m really lucky to have them. Between them, John, Jace, and my dad, it’s obvious just how strong my support system really is.

I have a tendency to forget that with how much the farm consumes my time, but seeing them all here today, dressed up, joking around, it’s a nice reminder that some friends stick around no matter how much time has passed or how shitty I am at keeping in touch with them.

I’ve also been thinking about my mom a lot today. I know she’d be happy for me and Blake, and that she would love his excited, outgoing, happy-go-lucky personality. I can totally picture her telling me that she’s glad I found someone who’s so carefree when I’m always so stressed out about the farm.

Part of me still can’t believe we’re getting married today.Maybe after the ceremony it will feel more real, or maybe I’m just really emotional today with all my people here, and so many thoughts of my mom, but I can’t deny there’s still that part of me that doesn’t fully believe this whole thing happened like it did.Like who letmeof all people be on a reality show?I’m just a random farmer, and this all feels very glamorous compared to my normal life. Looking back to the beginning of this show when Blake didn’t even make my top ten is even crazier to think about, but I’m so glad I told myself to keep an open mind.

Blake is everything I needed. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I can’t wait until all this fanfare is over so that we can get back to a more casual reality.

A soft knock on the door draws my attention to my dad walking in, and the camera man turns to face him.

“How’re you feeling today, son?”

I let out a breath and smile. “Good, I think. It doesn’t feel real, though. I can’t believe I found him only a few weeks ago, and in such a short time, we’ve made it here.”

My dad reaches a hand out and places it on my arm. “Your mom wouldn’t have thought it was crazy at all. She always said true love found you at the perfect moment, when you were both ready to receive it.”

“She would have loved him, wouldn’t she?”

“Absolutely,” my dad agrees with the biggest smile on his face. Then he turns to my friends. “You guys mind giving us a minute?”

They all nod their agreement and head out the door.

He turns back to me once he sees we’re alone, then hereaches inside his suit pocket and pulls out an envelope. “She wrote you one last letter. Wanted me to give it to you on your wedding day.”

I see the handwriting on the envelope and my throat is immediately tight as I fight back tears. I never thought I’d see another letter after my twenty-first birthday. I cherish every single one that my mom left for me, and knowing that she’s with me in this unexpected way today makes everything even more surreal. My fingers shake as I reach out to take it from my dad, and I immediately pull him into a hug.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“She wanted to make sure she could still be here with you, no matter what.”

I nod my head into his shoulder, not wanting to let go.

“I love you.”

“Love you too, son. I’ll give you a minute,” he says when we break apart.

He claps me on the shoulder before walking out of the room, leaving me with the letter. I hold onto it for just a moment, tracing my name on the front where she’s written,

For Liam’s Wedding Day!

I steady myself, needing to take a deep breath because I know this will make me even more emotional than I already am. I’m just about to rip the adhesive on the back when I hear another knock at the door.

“Come in,” I call out, tucking the letter safely into my pocket, already feeling raw. I don’t want to be distracted when I read it.

The door swings open, and for a moment, I think it’s one of the other contestants. In walks a woman who looks like she’s attending her own wedding in a sparkly white dress. Her blonde hair is perfectly styled and her makeup is flawless. But her hazeleyes that match Blake’s give her away, and I realize who she is before she even speaks.

“Hello, you must be Liam,” she says in greeting. “I’m Blake’s mother.”

“Hi, Mrs. Barclay,” I say, walking over to her.

Blake’s told me enough about his parents for me to know that she’s not the type to offer much warmth or affection, so I extend my hand instead of going for a hug, wanting to make a good first impression. She takes my hand briefly and offers me what I can only describe as a condescending smile filled with pity.She directs her attention to the camera person still in the room and asks them to give us a minute. They politely excuse themselves, but I don’t think Blake’s mother is aware of the other cameras that have been set up to blend in throughout the room without needing anyone to operate them, and I’m not going to say anything.

That small ball of anxiety that’s been churning in my gut all morning suddenly grows in size as her expression immediately gives me a bad feeling about why she’s really here.

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