Page 43 of The Reality of Wanting Him

The woman must read the confused panic on my face because she doesn’t wait for me to answer. “Does your boyfriend wear any other jewelry? What does he do for a living?”

“Uh, no other jewelry, and he works on a farm.” Now that I think about it, I don’t think Liam would want anything flashy.

“You might want to consider a silicone ring for when he’sworking to reduce the risk of injury, but we have some lovely stackable rings for a more formal option.” She leads us over to a display case, pulling out a tray full of rings varying in color and design. My gaze is drawn toward a black one.

“I think he’ll want something classic and simple,” I say, forcing my attention away from the rings with stones in them. Even though I think they’re really cool,maybe for me,I can’t imagine Liam wanting to wear diamonds with all of his flannel. “Maybe these darker ones. You said stackable, does that mean a ring for the engagement and a ring for the wedding?” I feel like such an idiot that I haven’t thought about this before, but she doesn’t seem surprised by my lack of knowledge so maybe she’s used to clueless customers.

“Yes, it’s all personal preference of course, but some same sex couples choose to both wear an engagement ring, and then get a second band for the marriage,” she confirms.

“Those dark ones are cool,” Chad says, pointing to the row of black rings I thought Liam might like.

“Yeah, I think he’d like that better than the gold or silver options,” I agree.

We spend some time comparing the different rings, seeing how they would look stacked together, and eventually I find one I really like. It's got a brushed black finish, but the angled edges are shiny, and it isn’t too thick so it can be paired well with a second band. Sophisticated, nothing over the top.I hope Liam will like it.

I also get a similar silicone option he can wear while he works, but I want him to have one that’s fancier and costs a bit more too. It’s a symbol of my commitment to him and our relationship. I don’t want to go the cheap route and have him take it the wrong way.

Chad and I head back to my place to get changed for the game we’re going to with Liam tonight. I probably should have given Liam a heads up about planning something sports related,but in all of my excitement thinking about going to his farm, my own hometown visit slipped my mind. It isn’t football season, but I have hockey season tickets as well, and the games are always a good time. He’s going to meet us there so the show can film him meeting Chad, but I wish we could all show up together. It’s only been a few hours since I saw him, but I really do miss him already.

After updating Chad on everything, our relationship is feeling even more real, and I’m really excited for Liam and Chad to hang out together. We have great seats in a box, and I can’t wait… but I hope Liam doesn’t hate it.

22

LIAM

Producer:What’s surprised you most about this process so far?

Liam:How fast a connection can form when you’re not distracted by everything else. I didn’t expect to feel this sure about someone so quickly, but here I am, getting ready to bring them to my farm to meet my dad.

Iknew these one-on-one interviews were coming, but that doesn’t make me dread them any less. The producers warned us that, at different points in the process, we’d have to sit down and reflect on everything so they could splice it into the episodes for dramatic effect.

Well, they didn’t say that exactly, but we all know what it’s for. But now I’m sitting in the middle of the room they’ve turned into a studio at the hotel, mic’d up with all the cameras and big microphones pointed at me, as I sit opposite Andy and his beaming smile.Why am I so nervous?This feels far more formal than the previous ones they’ve done where they sat us in a chair in the hallway outside of our apartments and had random producers ask the questions.

Besides the drama with Blake and Rachel—which admittedly was me assuming the worst—I’ve just been completely wrapped up in Blake. Falling into this thing with him has been almost terrifyingly easy. I’ve never felt this way before and I don’t think he has, either. And that makes me more than a little nervous for what questions are about to come out of the producers’ mouths.I have no idea how to talk about any of this.

Andy smiles at me from across the small studio setup, leaning forward in his chair like he’s about to dig into me. “Alright, Liam. Let’s start with something simple. Can you tell us how it’s been living with Blake?”

Easy enough first question, I can totally do this.

“Living with Blake has been interesting,” I start. They told us to repeat back the question in our answer like we’re playing Jeopardy so the future viewers will know exactly what we’re talking about. I can see the camera operator nodding, encouraging me to continue. “I think people expect me to say that I was shocked by the wholestraight guy picking me thingor comment on how Blake assumed that I was a woman, but honestly? I think I was more surprised by how much we get along.”

“Just how muchdoyou like him?” Andy asks, propping his chin in his hands as he dramatically blinks at me, obviously intrigued.

My mind immediately wanders to Blake last night and how he rested his head on my chest as we talked about our future together. It also flashes to him on his knees, looking up at me with want in his eyes, but I quickly cut that thought off. I can’t risk getting hard on TV.Again. He isn’t even here, but justthinkingabout my future husband is enough to make that a very real possibility.

And fuck, if that title isn’t sobering.My future husband.It's not even some far-fetched daydream; we could be engaged in just a few days.

I take a deep breath, trying to center my thoughts and focuson the conversation. “I… I don’t know,” I finally answer, licking my lips to buy a few more seconds. “I mean, I do know. But I also… Blake and I are very different people, and I thought that was going to be a problem. But instead, it’s working. I think it might be working really well.”

Andy grins and changes direction. “Let’s talk about the hometown visits coming up. Blake is heading to your farm soon. What are you most excited for?”

I can’t help but smile as I picture Blake on my farm. “I can’t wait for Blake to come to the farm. I want him to see my life. I want him to meet my dad. And…” I trail off, my throat tightening.

“And?”

I let out a slow breath. “I want to see if he fits there. If he’ll be happy. If he can adjust the image in his mind to the day-to-day reality of what running a farm is really like.”

As easy as this bubble we’re living in has been, I know Blake is used to expensive dinners, and fancy bars in the city. He’s used to very little responsibility, and my life is basically defined by it. There are early mornings, followed by long days of hard work struggling to keep my family’s farm running. Blake says he doesn’t need luxury, but I have to see that for myself. If I let myself love him and it turns out he can’t handle my world?

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