Page 30 of Pucking Strong

“Perfect. Then I need to talk to you over there.” Spinning around, I march to the far end of the chapel.

Henrik says something to the officiant that sounds like an apology. Then he follows me to the corner and lowers his voice. “What’s wrong?”

I brace my hands above my knees, half folded over as I suck in air. “Oh, you know, just casually defrauding the government with Henrik fucking Karlsson.”

His hand settles on my shoulder and I wanna scream. “If this is too much for you—”

“No, it’s cool.” I stand up straight, breaking our connection. “I’m not backing out. I said I’d do this, and I will. But I just …” I groan, fighting to find the right words. “Look, I know everything about this will be a lie, okay? But I can’t marry you in a lie. Does that make sense?”

His brain is clearly churning as he tries to follow my point. “I don’t understand.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I don’t either. I just know … Okay, so there are things about me you don’t know. And I feel like I can’t marry you unless you know them. They’re just sitting on my chest, like a weight pressing me down. Our marriage will be a lie, but I can’t marry you without you knowing this truth. Does that make sense?”

“What truth do you need me to hear?”

Taking a deep breath, I hold his gaze. This is it. This is my moment. “I’m …” My brain races as I try to think of what to say to finish the sentence.

In love with you.

Dying inside.

Constantly overcompensating for my anxiety with humor.

Afraid you’ll never see me as anything more than the intern who once walked into traffic.

But I just think all those things as the only word that comes out is, “Gay.”

Henrik blinks. “What?”

Yep, we’re rolling with this. “Henrik, I’m gay. I’ve never said that to you, and you deserve to know before you marry me. People are gonna say a lot of things about us when this all leaks, but that at least will be true. I’m very much gay.”

His shoulders relax as he offers me a weak smile. “I know.”

I lean away, eyes wide. “What? How do you know?” It’s not like I hide it, but I also don’t walk around carrying a rainbow flag and ringing a bell.

“When you were an intern, I caught you kissing a rookie at Shelby O’Sullivan’s birthday party. Do you not remember?”

Fuck. Was that him? “In the garage?”

His smile falls. “No, in the bathroom.”

Double fuck, because now he looks annoyed.

“You don’t remember?”

“Uhh …”

Yeah, that party really hurt my cred. I dressed up as Merlin fromThe Sword in the Stone, got sloppy drunk, and woke up the next morning in Sully’s backyard dressed as an astronaut with his damn dog licking my face. I remember dancing. I for sure remember drinking. And I remember getting handsy with someone in the garage. But I have literally no memory of kissing anyone in a bathroom. I definitely have no memory of getting caught by Henrik! Oh my god, the thought of it is going to haunt me till I die.

Time to pivot back to my point … if I ever had one. “So, you really don’t care? That I’m gay, I mean?”

His annoyed expression disappears as he takes a step closer. “Of course not. Teddy, you are your own person. I would never judge you for how you live your life. And this marriage will change nothing for you, I swear it.”

I huff, crossing my arms. “Seriously? Fake or not, we’re still getting married right now. We’re not buying lemons at the store.”

“I know—”

“Well, you can’t just say shit like that. You heard Elin. This has to look real. We have to tell people. Everyone’s gonna know. And they’re gonna say you’re gay too, whether or not it’s true. Are youready for that? Because coming out as gay as a professional athlete isn’t easy.”

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