Page 229 of As the Rain Falls
I set the phone aside and try to force myself to eat.
The lettuce going down feels like swallowing a spoonful of sand down my throat. I hate how bland food tastes to me now. I don’t have a single bit of appetite, not anymore, and my body hurts.
To make things worse, I’m on my period because somehow the morning-after pill triggered my hormones enough to make me bleed for days, and I’m emotionally unstable.
Everything hurts inside of me.
It all just hurts.
“Are you eating this or not?” Mateo drops his plate on my table nonchalantly, pulling out the chair from underneath the table and sitting down like he has nowhere else to be. “You’ve been staring at the salad like it offended your grandma for, like, half an hour.”
“My grandmother is dying,” I snap, moving the tomatoes around the plate with my fork. “And thanks for asking before invading my personal space.”
He raises an eyebrow, smart eyes studying me.
“I didn’t know that.”
I know it sounds stupid, maybe even particularly cruel, but I still drop the next piece of information, wanting him to feel especially bad about it.
“She has cancer. Leukemia. It’s terminal.”
Mateo’s hand drops to the table, making a loud noise.
“Well, I guess that does it!” He jabs at his apple juice box with the straw. “You’ve had a worse start to the year than I have!”
I glare at him, angrily poking the tomato now. “You don’t say.”
Mateo slurps his juice like a toddler, brown curls softly over his eyes. “What’s up with you, Rivera?”
“Nothing,” I mutter, annoyed that he won’t take a hint. I’d like to be left alone. “Go sit with your friends.”
“But you’re the only one left out of the bunch,” he admits, with a half-shrug, like it makes perfect sense. “Antony’s got the flu, and Angelina’s in the nurse’s office again.”
“What about Caleb?” I pause dramatically. “Oh, wait. Right. I’m sorry I forgot! You two are only best friends forever when the cameras are rolling!”
He glances around, as if looking for the cameras.
I facepalm. “There are no cameras, Mateo. It’s a figure of speech.”
“Is it?” he asks, stealing my fork and chomping down on my tomato.
I blink, unsure now. “I think it is?”
“Hm.” Mateo winces, shrugging his shoulders again. “Caleb and I used to be friends. We are no longer on speaking terms until he apologizes to Angelina.”
“You know about Angelina and Caleb?” I hear myself ask, feeling a little surprised.
He gives me back my fork, eyes widening. “You know about it too?”
I nod quickly.
“Damn, newsdoestravel fast around here.” Mateo shakes his head. “I guess I was falsely under the impression the infamous Angelina Cardoso was much more mysterious than that.”
I wipe my fork clean with the napkin, unwilling to catch any of his germs. “Okay, whatever. I’m going to the library now.”
“What are you, in second grade? The nerd hiding in the bathroom?” He grins, and a goofy smile stretches across his face. “God, you’re such a little child. Sit your ass back down, Cassandra.”
Reluctantly, I do as I’m told.
