Page 38 of The 21-Day Boyfriend
Eric flops back in the chair, a hand running through his unruly hair.
“What if…?” he begins, before reconsidering. He shakes his head, as if to cast away the idea taking shape in his mind, whilst I sit and watch him, my heart in my throat and my breathing uncontrollable, waiting to hear what I’m hoping, but also terrified, to hear.
Maybe I’m more hopeful than scared.
“If we kept this going…” he says, not breathing. “Maybe until Christmas.” He looks at me then, and there’s too much unsaid in his eyes; it’s too much for a control freak like me.
“Why should we?”
“Why not?”
“That’s not an answer.”
Eric considers this for a moment, and when he’s just about to tell me something I don’t want to hear, I lift a hand to stop him from talking.
He’llbe there, just as I thought. And I’m just a pawn to make him jealous. I don’t like the idea of being used like that. Sure, he’s doing it tonight, too, but this is for a good cause – not to annoy someone or try to provoke a reaction.
I don’t want to be his plaything.
I don’t want to be his rebound.
“Got it. Forget it.” He gets up and turns his back to me, heading away from the table and over to the window. “I’ll just call off everything.”
I sigh and get up, too, walking over to him but stopping just behind him. His eyes catch mine in the window’s reflection.
“I don’t like lying.”
“You keep saying that, yet you keep lying.”
“Well, the first time I didn’t know what was happening – it seemed fairly innocent. This evening, though… It’s stopped being innocent.”
He turns to me. “I know, but she’s invited you now, and I… I just want…” He sighs heavily. “I just want a break.”
“I get it, you know. Family can be a lot, even if we love them.”
“Are your family this bad, too?”
“My family? No, not really. They’re just nuts.”
The corner of his mouth twitches.
“Wait until you meet them, then you’ll understand.”
His smile disappears immediately.
“I didn’t mean that… You shouldn’t feel like you have to… I don’t mean that you have to meet my family. I just said it without thinking.”
“Are you getting a little too comfortable pretending?”
I’m afraid it’s becoming anything but pretence, and that, sooner or later, we’ll both realise it’s gone too far.
“Maybe we should just call it quits now,” Eric says suddenly.
And just like that, him giving up hurts even more than knowing that he kissed me just to make someone else jealous.
I haven’t forgotten it, you know. That kiss. Those kisses. I haven’t forgotten any of it – not even the scent of him filling my nostrils.
“It’s just for a few weeks,” I say suddenly, stupider and more naïve than I’ve ever been. “I can keep pretending I sort of like you.”
